A new tomorrow
by Lisablackroses
Summary: Dimitri and Rose are married for twenty years. They have four children and everything they can wish for. But will it be enough and can they stay faithfull and happy together? When things are rough and exciting news enters the family will their love stay strong? Or will it finally be over?
1. Cheater?

**Welcome to my newest story. This story is a little more about being a parent and things like that. So no better day then to start this story than on mother's day, right? Enjoy.**

 **2-7-2015: I have decided to take the rating from M to T. But for a warning there is still a little mentioning of sex. No details or sex-scene's. Only the mentioning of it.**

He has only minutes to duck before I throw a book at his head. But only in that moment he manage to dodge the book and come even closer to me. I sprint to the other side of the kitchen island and stare him deadly in the eye.

'Don't come near me.' I growl at him and search for something I can throw at him. He sees his chance and speeds to my side and grabs my arms before I can run again. His touch has always been a weak point for me.

'Please Roza, listen to me.' he asks in that pleading voice of me. Yes, my husband pleads now a days. Saying that I have no reason and he has to have his white flag up to be in this house. Cheerful, right.

'Tell me the truth!' I yell at him, trying to make him loosen his grip. But he won't move or even a centimeter. Stupid husband.

'I didn't cheat on you Roza!' he says in his demanding voice. Yes, yes, demanding that I listen to him. Demanding that I believe him. But it are his facts against the one I found. I feel the tears well up in my eyes and look away from him. Defeated for a moment.

Why doesn't he get it that it will be easier when he just admits his mistake? He let's go of my arm and I know, without looking up, that both of his hands are in his hair. He always does that. Instead I look at the kitchen counter and see the cake I baked myself and I feel anger boiling up again. Why does he have to ruin us? Ruin me?

Before he can even see it coming my hands connects with his cheek with a loud smack. Only satisfied for a second before I hear a loud gasp from the doorway. I snap my head in that direction and new tears are forming in my eyes.

There they are, my four beautiful children. Standing there lost and shocked. My hand goes up to my mouth to cover the desperate sound that is forming and I look between them and Dimitri. His cheek is covered with my red hand. My poor baby's.

'See what you did.' I mumble to Dimitri before stumbling away. Not looking anywhere but the ground. I can't look at anyone.

'Roza…' I hear Dimitri whisper in a defeated voice but he doesn't follow me. Not with the children in the kitchen. He knows that someone has to take care of them.

I stumble all the way up the two stairs until I am in the bedroom. Our bedroom. I let myself fall down on the bed and curl myself up, hugging his pillow. Tears streaming down my cheeks and I have no intend to make them stop.

Thirty-eight years old. That's what I am but here I am, lying on my bed crying over a guy. Crying over my cheating husband. Still wondering where it went wrong. We used to be a happy couple. We never fought for too long and mostly because of stupid reasons.

He couldn't keep his hands off me for all those years, even after the birth of our four children. But now I can't remember when the last time was that he touched me. Really touched me and not only the small kisses we give when he comes home and when he goes. It has been weeks.

This year we will be married for twenty years. I was barely eighteen when I became Dimitri's wife. Very pregnant at the time. Pregnant of my first boy, Ivan. He wasn't planned but who plans to get pregnant on seventeen?

Dimitri seven years older was looked down for making me pregnant. Illegal because I wasn't even a grown up, illegal because I was his student. Marrying was the only right thing to do at that time. Marrying him and move to the other side of the country.

Only a year later and I was pregnant again, unplanned, from my second boy, Logan. We lived just outside Nashville, Tennessee that time. Dimitri loved the place, I hated it. He was always trying to get a job and be at home most of the time. Always failing at one of the two.

We were young, we were stressed. Two little boys at home and I still hadn't finished high-school. Not that there was even time to finish it. But somehow we managed. We were madly in love with each other even after all the nights we were awake.

After a lot of trouble we moved again. Changed states once again. Atlanta, Georgia was our next stop. Enough jobs, enough money to be made. But not a place for two small boys to grow up in. In our tiny, little apartment. Dimitri worked, madly hours. Trying to save as much as possible.

Only a year and a half later and I was pregnant again. Unplanned, again. People called us stupid, called us naïve. But only the goofy smile on his face when I told him I was pregnant again was enough for me. Planned or unplanned, it didn't matter, we loved our children and each other with all we had. That was enough.

But seven months pregnant, two small children and a very small apartment, we had to move again. We couldn't live with so many people in so little space. Desperate for anything Dimitri was offered a job at a university in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. So we moved again, changed states again.

We moved into a small house, better than a small apartment. And in that house our twins were born. A baby girl, Tamara, and a baby boy, Anthony. At the age of twenty-one I had four children and my family was complete.

When the twins were almost three and ready to go to school, we moved one last time. We found a place a couple of hours away from Milwaukee. Dimitri could work there for three days at a high-school and the other days he went to Milwaukee to work there. With the money we saved we could buy us a nice big house.

For so many years we lived there as a happy family. Watching my children grow up and Dimitri getting older. When all my children were in school I started to go back to school as well. First finishing my GED. After that I went to the community college nearby and worked a couple hours in the supermarket around the corner.

That was a rough time. With Dimitri away for two nights and two days. Four small children under the age of ten and me trying to get my diplomas. Dimitri and I both believed that was the right thing to do and I never saw myself as the stay home mom. I wanted to get those diplomas and make my children proud of me.

We managed to get through everything. And even during those hard times I had never doubted Dimitri, our love for each other or his troth to me. He had promised me so many things before he put the ring on my finger and I had done the same. Our eyes shining with love.

But children grow up and soon they were all at that age when they don't need supervision all the time. I had finished school and worked in an art-gallery in a town an hour away. Dimitri started working three days at the university in Milwaukee and only two days at the high school in town. Leaving us for one more night and day.

I still have trouble sleeping without him. Even after so many years, so many night that I slept without his arms around me. I always sleep better when I am safe and warm in those big arms of his. The bed is too big, the house to empty, the children to loud.

Soon I found my children old enough for college. Only thirty-five when my first baby boy left our home to live on his own. I cried in those big arms. And cried again and again when my other children left. Leaving this big house empty.

Soon after Tamara and Anthony left things changed. I only worked three days a week and with four days free it was a big and lonely house to live in. Dimitri started working more hours at the university. Every other week he worked four days instead of three. Leaving me another day and night.

After that the fighting started. He was away a lot and I was home a lot. I never had the house fully to myself before. From the moment we moved in together until the moment my youngest children moved out I was always busy with them. Not knowing what I had to do with all those free time.

I had those plans about what I could do but they somehow always involved Dimitri, who was never home but the weekends. I had been dreaming of spending the time with my husband that I never had the chance of doing when we got married. Walking around naked in the house, having sex with him every moment we could.

I blamed him for everything. Knowing that wasn't fair. He blamed me for pushing him away and that I had never let him in with when the kids grew up. He worked late and spent another night in Milwaukee after our fighting started.

After months we both put our white flags up and started trying to work things out. We never had the chance at having a relationship without children. We weren't even dating when I got pregnant. Our relation went better for a couple months.

He was offered a full-time job at the university and he was doubting the opportunity. Me, being a happy wife told him he should do it. I could quit my job and we could sell the house. The kids had moved out anyway. He didn't want to hear that and simply told me that I wouldn't quit my job and we wouldn't sell the house.

That's when the fighting started, again. That was only a month and a half ago. I found out that he started drinking again, too much, too often. And only when he was in Milwaukee. Never when he was in the house.

And only this morning when I was washing his clothes I found this little note in his pocket of his blouse. It was a number and a name of a girl. The blouse smelled like perfume and there was even lipstick on the collar of it. That's when this hell began.

I asked myself how I could be so stupid. Remembering when we were young. I grew up in Turkey with my father. And I always was a very rebellious girl, never doing what my father wanted me to do. Ibrahim Mazur was a very strict man but even he couldn't say no to me.

At the age of sixteen I wanted to spend a year at a high-school in America. I dreamt of it and couldn't believe it when he even let me go. On my own. He had bought me an apartment there and had everything arranged. He even got me an English teacher who wanted to give me some extra lessons because I wasn't that good in speaking the language.

Funny how that turned out to be Dimitri. I found him deadly handsome when I first met him and had trouble breathing around him. Stuttering a lot around him for the first weeks. But he was friendly and patient. I found myself crushing over him but I knew that he had a girlfriend.

We keep spending time together even when my English was perfect. Talking a lot about Turkey and Russia, where he came from. Getting coffee together and talking even more. And one night I found myself in a bar with my best friend, Lissa. Having a little too much alcohol and being lost without Lissa I bumped into Dimitri.

One thing led to another and I found myself taking him home with me. I let him take of my clothes and went even as far as having sex with him. Giving up my virginity. I thought about it as the best night in my whole life back then. Until I met Dimitri again a couple of days later.

He was wishing that night didn't happened. Saying that he wanted to ask his girlfriend to marry him instead of cheating on her. He told me that it was just one night and it didn't mean anything. I should forget about him and move on. My heart was broken.

And it broke even more when I found out that night cost me more than my virginity and my heart. I was pregnant with his baby. Lissa told me to get an abortion but I couldn't. She told me that I could take care of it on my own or give the baby up for adoption. But I couldn't do both of them.

So I found myself at Dimitri's door, once again. Tears streaming over my face and my hands clutching over my belly. He let me inside his house, telling me that his girlfriend had left him. He almost looked relieved. I told him about the tiny little baby inside my womb and that he would be a father.

Two months later we were engaged, another three months we got married and only two months after we got married our baby boy was born. We packed our stuff and a month later we were settled in Tennessee.

And only the moment we lived in Tennessee I had the guts to call my father and invite him to America. Telling him that I wouldn't leave and that I needed to tell him something. Finding it a miracle that he hadn't found out about Dimitri earlier.

But as soon as he came into our house I knew that he had known it all along. Furious. That was what he was. At me but even more at Dimitri. Yelling at him that he had taken advantage of his little girl. Yelling at him in three different languages. English, Turkish and even Russian.

The moment he saw the chubby cheeks of his little grandson he put his weapons down and picked up the little guy. Ivan stole the heart of his grandfather. He was mad at us for many years but knew that we needed to fix it when he wanted to see his grandchildren.

I place my hands on my belly, keeping the secret inside of me for a little longer than I already am.

 **DPOV  
** 'Papa, what is going on?' Ivan asks from the doorway. He would always be the one standing up for his brothers and sister. Only seconds ago their mother left the kitchen crying. I sigh and sit down at the kitchen table. Motioning them to sit down as well.

How am I going to explain to my own children what is going on when I don't even know it for myself. Yes, we have a little rough time the past couple of months. But the last months Rose reacts even worse than she did before.

'Papa, please tell us.' Logan this time. I look up and look in the eyes of my children. All brown eyes. Ivan and Logan have my eyes but the twins have their mothers. I drag my hand through my hair and try to find the words for my children to tell them.

'Your mother and I are going through a really rough time. We're currently not on the same page anymore and we are trying to get back there.' I say and take a deep breath. Feeling like I can't even explain this properly to my children who shouldn't even find their parents fighting. 'You know that all of this isn't your fault right?'

They all look down but nod eventually. I grab Tamara's hand who is sitting next to me and is shaking. She looks up at me with tears in her eyes.

'Are you splitting up?' she asks me as the tears started streaming over he cheeks. I shake my head and rub the tears away with my thumbs.

'No, sweetie. You're mother and I aren't splitting up or getting a divorce or anything. We still love each other we just don't know how to show it anymore.' I say to her and to the boys.

'But why did mama hit you?' Ivan asks and they all look away again. Not knowing how to deal with this.

'Well, things just went a little out of hands.' I say while rubbing my cheek. I don´t want to say to them that Rose thinks I cheated on her.

'Did you cheated on her?' Anthony asks. He looks at me with those same eyes as Roza, anger is clearly in his eyes. My youngest boy was always the first one to defend his mother. A true mama's boy.

'No Anthony. I didn't cheated on your mother.' I say and keep looking at him. Wanting him to read the truth. He finally looks down and sighs.

'I didn't know you were coming home this weekend.' I say wondering why they even came home. This wouldn't have happened when Roza and I knew they were coming.

'We wanted to surprise you. Tomorrow is your anniversary, right?' Tamara says and I feel myself becoming pale. I forgot. How could I forgot? Twenty years.

'Smooth, papa.' Logan says and I hear his and Ivan's laughter. How stupid it must look for them that I forget something like that. But with all the work I'm doing lately and all the fighting that is going on I barely can remember the date of today.

'Alright, alright. Listen to me guys. I go fix things with your mother but I want you to leave the house for a couple of hours. She probably is going to yell and throw things at me so you don´t need to see that. So please, go into town, eat something there. And come back home for dinner. I promise you that things will be better by then.' I say. Handing them some money and the keys of one of the cars.

 **Tell me your wonderful thoughts about this! Don't forget to follow/favorite this story so you know when the next chapter is up.  
** **This was a little more like a explanation chapter so you know their history a little and what is about to come up next!**


	2. Promises

'Roza…?' his voice soft and only a whisper. His hands touch my back and rub smoothing circles to it. Slowly I start to wake up, enjoying his touch. But the moment I am completely awake I jerk away from him. Not wanting to have him touching me.

'You son of a bitch, how could you do this to me?' I yell at him, rolling myself on my knees. Desperately looking for something to throw at him. Wanting to hurt him.

'Roza, stop. Listen to me.' he says and holds his hands out to me, palms up. I give him an angry glare and stand up. Trying to make my escape to the bathroom.

He catches me in only two steps and throws me back on the bed, covering me with his body so he is keeping me in place. I let out a low growl and he smirks at me. His eyes boring into mine. He knows I can't move when he is holding me.

'We can do this the easy way of the hard way, honey.' He says in a low, hoarse voice. I look away from his face and close my eyes. Trying to focus. I'm not giving in. But I already know that I can't resist him, my body will give me away.

He let out a dark chuckle and rubs his lips against my ear. Whispering my name over and over again. His tongue darts out and traces the outlines of my ear. I bite my lip to keep the sounds inside. He drags my hands higher and lowers his body into mine. Biting harder to keep the loud moan inside of me.

But the moment he places a kiss beneath my ear and suck a little the moan escapes my mouth and my hips shoot off the bed. He grounds his hips over mine and I feel myself become jelly under his touch. The following moment he rolls himself off of me. I let out the breath I am holding and let out an angry groan.

'Now, you're going to listen.' He says and I sigh. I roll myself onto my side and look his way.

'Good girl.' He says with a smile before continuing. 'I didn't have sex with another woman. I promise you, okay?'

First didn't cheat on me and now didn't have sex. What did he do? So guilty. I want to protest and get angry at him again but one glare of him and I shut myself up. Knowing that he will be on top of me again when I let out a word.

'I know that you asked me to come home yesterday instead of today and I broke my promise. But things haven't been easy between the two of us lately. The guys asked me to come drink a beer with them and it sounded so appealing. I'm so sorry.' He says. His eyes are on the sheets and not meeting my eyes.

'I went to the bar just outside campus with them. Wanting to have just this one beer and come home after that. We kept talking and talking and having fun. It was only four when we went into that bar and I found myself still sitting there when it became ten. I knew I should go. I am never in the bar when the students are there on Friday night. But yesterday I stayed, having too much already. Soon there was this group of girls sitting with us. And I swear that I was only talking to her. I was very polite and wasn't flirting with her. But in the following moment I blinked and she was on top of me, straddling me. Her hands in my hair and her lips on my neck. And for a moment I enjoyed being touched by her. But when she moved up and pressed her lips on mine I didn't even know how fast I should get her of me and leaving that bar, alone.' He says with tears dripping on the sheets.

Most of all I find relieve in his explanation. Knowing that he was wrong. But also knowing that he didn't cheat. He didn't even kissed her. And somewhere I can understand the craving to be touched again. There is silence between us for so many minutes that eventually he looks up and I look away. Not knowing what to say.

I feel him move and only a minute later he is off the bed and out of the door. I sit up again, wondering if I should follow him. But with the door still open I can hear him come back up and relax for a little. Knowing that he hasn't given up.

The moment he walks into the room he throws my car keys to me. A devilish glint in his eyes. He wants me to leave? I can feel my heart break and the tears well up again but then he pulls his shirt over his head. He takes of his shoes, sock, pants and boxer briefs. Standing naked in front of me with his hands on his hips.

'You told me that when you would caught me cheating on you, you would cut my balls of with your car keys. Well, if you still think I'm guilty… Go ahead.' He says. I stare at him and burst out laughing. Throwing my head back and clamping my belly.

He smiles that beautiful wide smile and joins me on the bed. Still naked and he looks so comfortable. I laugh until I get out of breath and then lay there with a stupid smile on my face. He rolls on top of me and devours my lips.

And then he shows me how much he loves me in the only way he can think of.

* * *

He is sprawled over the bed, lying on his back. I'm on my side, lying in the crook of his arm. My fingers tracing figures on his flat belly, his mouth whispering things in my hair. In that moment it feels like everything from the past couple months is fixed.

'Dimitri, why are the children home?' I ask him and look up to his eyes. He looks down and smiles. Rolling us over and lying half on top of me. His head propped up on his fist so he can better look at me.

'Tomorrow is our anniversary.' He says and I feel myself pale. I forgot. I simply forgot. How can my children remember when their parents got married and their mother not. Dimitri starts laughing and I look at him.

'I forgot too.' He says. I smack him and laugh with him. Terrible. That is what we are. Forgetting our own anniversary because we are too busy fighting.

'I'm sorry milaya. I don't have a present for you.' He says with a sad look on his face. Other years we always try to have the most amazing gifts for the other. They don't have to cost much. Sometimes the best gifts aren't even 10 dollar. It always means so much more when you put your time and love in it instead of money.

I think for a moment and smile at him. Maybe I can make my little secret his gift. He would absolutely enjoy that.

'I have a present for you.' I say and rub my nose against his neck. Smelling him for a moment. The aftershave I love too much still lingering on his neck.

'Please milaya, don't let me wait until tomorrow. The kids will be home all day and I can't thank you until the evening.' He whispers in my ear, sending shivers over my body.

I pull back and sit up. Leaving the bed only to pick up the envelop out of the dresser. I sit back and give him the envelop. Watching him very closely when he opens it. He pulls the letter out of it and studies it. His eyes are confused until he reaches the end of it. I see his eyes open and shoot up to mine.

'You're… you're…?' he tries to say it but there doesn't comes another word out of his mouth.

'I'm pregnant. Two months.' I say with a happy smile on my face. A large grin appears on his face and he cups my face with both hands. Kissing me softly and slowly for a couple of minutes.

'That's the best anniversary gift ever.' He says pushing me back on the bed again. He moves his hands over my body and let them rest on my still flat belly. Bending down and leaving soft, wet kisses on them.

'I promise you, Roza, milaya, love of my life, everything will chance. We will do better and I will do better. I promise you to be more home and to support you with everything you need, alright?' He says and bores his eyes in mine. I only nod before I pull his head to mine. Kissing him with so much passion and love.

'I promise you that I will blame all my breakdowns to the hormones. To send you out in the middle of the night, looking for pickles and chocolate. And to hate you the moment I go into labor.' I say and he laughs.

'I promise you that I will invite you to all the echo's, all the doctor's appointments and even to the baby shower that Lissa wants to give me when she finds out.' I follow and he looks horrified at the mention of baby shower and Lissa. I laugh because the face he makes. My hands finding his on my belly. I tangle our fingers together.

'I promise you to share every step in this pregnancy with you. Every morning sickness and every moment of the little one. Every kick and every ache.' I still continue and sent all the love I have in the way I look at him. Our eyes connected like there isn't anything else in this world, just the two of us.

'And I even promise you that you can pick the name for our little baby.' I say with a new smile on my face. He gives me such a huge smile that it breaks his face almost. Before bending down again and kissing me again. And he shows me how much he loves me, again.

* * *

We are sitting on the couch in the small study room in the back of the house. Dimitri is sitting in the middle of the couch and I am sitting in his lap. My head against his shoulder, my arms around his body. His head against mine, his arms around my body.

'If it's a girl I want to name her Olena. My mother would love that.' He whispers and I nod.

'And if it's a boy?' I ask him. Already smiling, waiting for the answer that is about to come.

'Please, don't let it be a boy. I have boys enough. I want another little girl.' He says and I chuckle, expecting that answer already. It was the same with our twins. I felt the same. 'But if it's a boy we could name it after you father. Calling him Ibrahim.'

I pull away and look at him in surprise. He has never suggested that before. I did but he didn't agree with me. He grabs me tighter and places my head against his shoulder again. I listen to his heartbeat. It never fails me to calm down when I am upset or scared.

Hearing a click I look up again and see my boys and girl standing in the doorway again. I smile up at them and move myself out of Dimitri's arms. Walking towards them with my arms wide, wanting to hug them all.

I start with Anthony, my youngest boy. He was always and will always be a mama's boy. I hug him tightly and he melts himself against me like he is four instead of seventeen. I pat his check and look up and down his body. He lost weight, again.

Second is my only girl, Tamara. She is only a little taller than me and it makes hugging so much easier. We hold each other for a long time while I whisper in her ear how beautiful she is and how proud I am of her. She always needed that. A little more encouragement than my other children.

Third is my second boy, Logan. He is just as tall and wide as his father is. More muscles in his arms and very manly. He gives me a wry smile before he bends down and picks me up. Hugging him and after a minute demanding him to put me down again. His beautiful laughter fills my ears. I love to hear him laugh, he does that way too often.

And fourth is my oldest boy, Ivan. Always patient to give him youngers brother and sister the things they need before he thinks about himself. I wrap my arms around his waist and listen for his heartbeat. He places his head on mine and holds me tight against him. He was always the one to share with his siblings and beat up the ones that were bullying his youngest brother. But also the one that moved out of the house as soon as he could.

I step back and look at my four children with pride. They have so much already and reached so many goals. I can only hope that they will continue and not make the same mistakes as I did. I feel Dimitri's hand on the small of my back and I look up at him, smiling.

'You guys hungry? Should I make dinner?' I ask them and walk past them to the kitchen. The kitchen table is already set and there are a couple pizza boxes on the table.

'We thought you guys were busy talking so we took care of dinner.' Logan says and sits down on his spot on the table. I sit down on the other side of the table and chuckle. Logan always made sure to eat pizza every chance he could get. It is a miracle he is so thin.

We always had the same seats on the table. Me on own side of the table with Anthony on one side and Ivan at the other. Dimitri on the other side, opposite of me. And on one side Tamara, opposite of Anthony, and on the other side Logan.

The moment Dimitri sits down on the table our feet tangle themselves together. An old habit of ours that became routine. When the kids were little it was always hard to find time for each other. For a kiss or a moment to hold each other. So we tangled our feet together so we could touch each other and have time for our children.

'What do you kids want to do tomorrow?' I ask them and look around the table. It is Dimitri's and mine anniversary but without my children, it wouldn't be complete. They are part of our twenty years together.

'Well, maybe we should go back to the university. That way you and dad can talk a little more.' It's Ivan who says this but by the way my other children are looking they have discussed this.

'Are you kidding me? You are not going back because of our stubbornness. It's our anniversary and as my wish for it I wish for all my children to be there.' I say and look at Dimitri for support. I don't want to scare my children away.

'Listen to your mother. You don't have to go. We can celebrate it together. Have a little family time.' He says.

It takes a little more time to convince them but in the end they are all staying. Each of them sleeping in their old room, making me wish they had never left. But I wanted them to go to college. Make something of their future.

 **What do you think about it? What about the pregnancy? Any ideas what it should be? Boy or girl. One baby or two? Tell me! You can also give me some suggestions for names!  
** **And don't forget to follow/favorite this story so you know when the next chapter is up!**


	3. Children

**Chapter three already! I hope you like it.**

We are still lying in bed, it is already 10 am and normally we would be up. But we both can't find the energy to get up. Our children are up and downstairs and we enjoy this moment in our little bubble. Just me and him. It's been a while since we just lay here.

'I never thought we would have another baby.' He says and breaths out. I'm lying on my back with one arm under my head. He is lying on his side, facing me, and is tracing figures on my belly. His touch is making me crazy and I have a hard time focusing on what he is saying.

'Me neither. I always thought our family was complete with our four children. And even then I never expected myself to have four children.' I say and let out a laugh. Shaking my head in disbelieve. Still can believe it sometimes. Looking back at the girl I was when I left Turkey to the woman I am today.

'Is it bad that I am hoping for twins? I just want to have a little more girls in my family.' He says and smiles sheepishly. I look at him with big eyes. When I found out about the baby I just thought one more child. I can handle that. But when he talks about twins. No, no way.

'Please, no twins. They would kill us.' I say and close my eyes. Thinking back at the time where Anthony and Tamara were just born. For the first weeks we had no sleep and they were driving us crazy. When one of the two started crying the other would join them.

'We would be fine.' He says and pulls me closer. His lips in my neck and his arms around my waist. I wrap my arms around him and pull him closer. Even after so many years, just being with him feels like home.

'We need to discuss this a little more Dimitri.' I say, hating to ruin this perfect moment. But I know that if I don't start this now, we would have this discussion the next weekend. And things wouldn't be pretty then. After waiting another week.

'I just… I try to figure it all out Roza. I want to be there for you. I want to be there for our child but I can't figure out what the right move is.' He says and let out a loud sigh. His head resting on my shoulder and his hand moving away from me.

I push him away from me and take his head in my hands. My eyes boring into his. Taking in the so familiar brown eyes. They are like chocolate. My fingers caressing his cheeks and I place a soft kiss on the tip of his nose.

'I just want you to think about it, alright? I can't do this alone. I need you and want you with me this time.' I say and place a soft sweet kiss on his lips. I am desperate in this and I have to swallow the tears that I am holding in.

'You know I was there the last time, right?' he asks, hurt in his eyes. I didn't mean it like that.

'Dimitri, comrade, husband. You were there for me the last time. But things were so different that time. We didn't have much choices that we could make and life was so hard for us back then. This time we can do things different. We don't need the money like we did back then. We don't have four children and we aren't just starting our lives.' I tell him and I see the understanding in his eyes.

'I want to enjoy it more this time. The whole thing you know. Being pregnant and our baby is still young. And I want you to enjoy it with me.' I continue and place another kiss on his lips.

'I love you, my Roza.' He says and pulls me in a hug. Holding me close to his body.

'I love you too, Comrade.' I tell him and wrap my arms tightly around his large body.

I pull back a little and place my lips on his. Sucking lightly on his lower lip before opening my lips to let him in. His tongue meets mine and soon we are fighting for dominance. I moan and bend my body in his.

'BREAKFAST.' A loud voice screams from downstairs and we both pull back at the same time. Both a smile on our faces and longing in our eyes. But our children are waiting so we pull back further and we are getting dressed.

The four of them are already sitting at the dining table, fully decked. They prepared a full and delicious looking breakfast for us. I smile at them and kiss each of them on their heads before sitting down.

I dig in and have to admit that they did a wonderful job. We talk a little while having breakfast and it is nice to hear a little about my children. How they are doing in school and what they do next to school.

'Guys, your mother and I want to tell you something.' Dimitri says suddenly. His eyes on mine. I give him a small nod. Understanding what he is talking about and telling him that I am okay with it.

'You are breaking up.' Tamara states and we both look shocked at her. It is nothing like that. Pour baby girl.

'No sweetie. We are not breaking up.' I say with a smile. My eyes soft and I reach out to her to take her hand. I give a small squeeze until she smiles back at me.

'Then what do you have to tell us that is so serious?' Logan asks. He folds his arms across his chest, leaning back in his chair. His eyes a little closed.

'You are going to have another brother or sister.' Dimitri just says. Giving it up to bring it a little softer. Anthony who was just about to swallow his drink spits it over the whole table. It looks like that is the cue to start their reactions and they all start talking at the same time.

Dimitri holds his hands up and tells him to stop talking. Glaring around the table and then looking at Anthony. Giving him the motion to talk first.

'You're thirty-eight.' He just says and places his hand across his mouth. Something he always does when he is thinking. We both look at him for a moment but he doesn't talk further. We share a look and I tell him with my eyes to go to the next child. He looks at Ivan.

'No, no. I don't want to have another brother or sister. I tell you. I'm already twenty years old. I shouldn't become a big brother for someone new.' He says his brows raised and he struggles to keep his voice low.

'I'm already pregnant Ivan.' I say and place my hand on his arm. He sighs and shakes his head.

'You guys are crazy.' He mutters.

'Ivan, you don't say that to your parents.' Dimitri immediately says. I just laugh at him and push him a little. Ivan pushes me back and smiles at me.

'You know I will be a good big brother.' He says with a grin. I nod and place a kiss on his cheek. I motion to Dimitri go further and he looks at Logan.

'Don't expect me to change diapers and everything.' He says and shrugs. It's the only reaction we get before he starts eating again. And then we all look at Tamara, who is almost bouncing in her chair with a huge smile on her face.

'OMG, OMG. I can't wait to be a big sister. It would be so much fun. And I have to do this assignment for school and follow a pregnant woman. You would be perfect for that mama.' She says and looks so happy that I can't help to giggle.

Our daughter is studying to become a midwife and she was always the one that asked Dimitri and me for a little sister. Maybe she will finally have her wish.

'It would be an honor to be your assignment.' I say with a smile on my face. Dimitri is smiling to and hugs our daughter. We are happy that at least one of them is happy to have a little brother or sister.

'You're forty-five.' Anthony says suddenly and looks at us with big eyes. Dimitri and I share a look before looking at our youngest boy. Not really sure what he is worrying about.

'What is bothering you Ant?' Dimitri asks him. His eyes a little worried.

'Nothing, nothing. Just surprised you still can get it up.' he says. His eyes on Dimitri when he says it. It is silent for a moment but then we burst out laughing. Well Dimitri isn't laughing. He is blushing a little. Forty-five years old and he still hates to talk about sex.

'Well Ant. Be glad he can still get it up. What would it mean for us when he couldn't?' Logan says and looks at his little brother with his brows raised. Anthony thinks about this for a moment and then he nods.

'I guess you are right. We were doomed if he couldn't get it up.' he says and grins at his brother. Dimitri smashes the table with his hands and looks a little angry.

'Now it's enough. Go, get dressed.' He says angry. He doesn't like to talk about it. I smile and grab his hands. He relaxes under my touch and his eyes are meeting mine. The children stand up and hurry out of the room.

'I'm glad you can still get it up comrade.' I say with a grin.

'Ugh, I heard that!' Ivan says and makes a gagging sound.

'If you heard that you aren't move fast enough.' I yell back and laugh. Dimitri just shakes his head laughing and start clearing the table. I want to help him but he tells me to sit back down. I obey and follow his movements around the kitchen.

Watching him move and his muscles flex makes my stomach tighten and I stand up. I walk toward him and wrap my arms around his waist. He wraps his arms around me and looks down at me with a smile.

'Maybe you can show me how good it is working later today?' I ask him with my brows raised. His eyes darken and he lick his lips. Giving me a smile.

'Would you like that missis Belikova?' he asks me and he places a sweet kiss on my lips.

'I would love that mister Belikov.' I answer him and stand on my tiptoes to kiss him.

'Oh my god. Can you guys please stop?' Logan asks us and I pull back from Dimitri, chuckling. I can still see the longing in Dimitri's eyes. I turn around and stand a little in front of him.

'What is it Logan?' I ask him when I look at his face. He looks a little hesitating but comes closer to us.

'Can I talk to you?' he asks us and looks back down. Worried about it I walk to him and wrap my arms around him. Then I pull him towards the living room, sitting him on the couch. Dimitri follows us and we sit down with our son.

'You know I am not doing very well in school, right?' he asks us and he doesn't look at us.

'You want to stop, right?' Dimitri asks and I look surprised between the two of them. How can I have missed that?

'Yes.' Logan answers, his voice in a whisper. He pulls his hand through his hair and finally looks at us. I can see the nervousness in his eyes.

'And what do you want to do when you stop with your school?' Dimitri asks him. I can tell him that he is holding his anger. Trying to give our son a chance to explain his plan.

'I want to come back home. Alex' father has offered me a job in the garage and I want to take it.' he tells us, looking hopefully. Dimitri shakes his head and sighs loudly.

'You know how I think about it Logan.' He says. Looking a little disappointed at his son.

'I have figured it all out papa. I am going to take some night classes and then I will eventually have a degree. Not the way you wanted, I understand. But I hate school. Hate sitting there listening to teachers who think they are so much better than we are. I want to do something. I need to do something or I will throw my book at that guy.' He says desperate. His hands in his hair and his look far away.

I share a look with Dimitri. Telling him that way to calm down and give him a chance.

'Logan, just promise us that you will get your degree alright? And no extra times and taking free time in between.' I say with a strict look at him. He nods at me and he tells us that he promises that. He jumps up and hugs us both before walking out of the room.

I bite my lip to hold back the laughter. He just runs out before his father can tell him another thing. Knowing that his father isn't that fast to give in.

'Roza…' he says and takes me by my shoulders, looking into my eyes.

'Give him a chance Dimitri. He will figure it all out. Have a little faith.' I say and place a kiss on his lips. Making my own promises to him that I will keep an eye on Logan. And I keep it inside of me that I am somewhere very happy to have one of my children back home.

 **You can still give me suggestions about the name of the newest baby! I have already decided on the number of children. But tell me you farvorite names!  
** **Don't forget to follow/favorite so you know when the next chapter is up!**


	4. Echo

**So this chapter is a little late and a little short. I was having a little trouble with writing this chapter but I will try to make the next chapter longer. Enjoy!**

Sitting. Waiting. I was never the one to wait. But lately it is all that I am doing. Waiting for Dimitri to come home. Tomorrow we have our first echo of our newest baby and he would come home today. Early. But it is already past ten and he isn't home.

I feel the anger boiling up in myself and I know that a part of it is to blame at the hormones. But I can't think rational at this moment. He promised me to be more home. To be there for me and our child. But a whole month and a half has passed and he hasn't made the slightest change.

'Roza, why aren't you in bed?' his voice startling me. I didn't hear him come into the house. I stand up and place my hands on my hips, giving him a death glare.

'I was waiting for my husband who would be home early.' I reply. He sighs and leans against the doorframe. His eyes are meeting mine in a pleading look.

'Can we please do this tomorrow?' he asks me. I let out a breathe and I am ready to get really angry at him. But after looking at him again I let my anger go. He looks so tired, so small. I walk to him and wrap my hands around his waist.

'Let's go to bed husband.' I tell him and take his hand in mine. Leading him up the stairs to our bedroom. We both undress and I slip one of his shirts over my head. We snuggle close to each other and in only seconds he is drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Sleep didn't come last night and I have been up most of the night. My head spinning with thoughts and all the hormones that are running through my body aren't working with me. I feel mad at Dimitri but on the other side I just want to cry and to be hold by him.

Somewhere in the middle of the night I have just decided to go out of bed and since then I am sitting on the couch. Starring at pictures in our photo albums. Tears in my eyes as I am watching my kids growing up and even watching the love between Dimitri and me growing.

It hasn't been easy and it would never be easy. But seeing those pictures and remembering where we have been through in the first place makes me remember that it is all worth it. As long as I have my husband and as long as I have my children I can make it.

'Hey stranger.' His deep voice bringing a smile to my face. I look up and meet his eyes. They are shining with love and with two steps he is with me and has his lips pressed against mine.

'I missed you, you weren't sleeping in my bed.' he says with a little pout. I laugh and wrap my arms around his waist and hug him close. He bends down and presses a kiss on the top of my head.

'I couldn't sleep.' I tell him and he shakes his head. Probably remember all those nights we were awake in my previously pregnancy's. Babies aren't good for your sleep. Even when they are still safely inside of your belly.

'Will you stand up for me?' he is asking me. His eyes twinkling. This is my time to laugh and shake my head. Silly husband of mine. I obey and stand up, standing in front of him. He lifts my shirts and opens the button of my pants.

His hands are moving over the baby bump that has already formed. Caressing and placing kisses on it and I tangle my hands in his hair. Enjoying this time with the men I love. He loves the baby bump that I am showing and I know that he will loves it even more when I get bigger.

'This is more than one baby.' He says as he presses another kiss on my belly. I pull him back and he looks up.

'What?' I ask him, a little shocked. I don't want another twins. One baby will be enough already. But having to take care of two small babies?

'Have you give your belly a good look? It's already huge.' He says and chuckles.

'You are calling me fat?' I ask him, pretending I am mad at him. He would never call me fat even when I am.

'Yes, I am definitely calling you fat.' He says and he stands up. Rising above me and looking down at me with a smile. He bends down and kisses my lips.

'You have some nerves in you comrade. Calling your pregnant wife fat.' I say while pulling him down so he is closer to me.

'I love you.' He says and places a small kiss on the tip of my nose.

'You love me?' I ask him playfully. His eyes twinkling and he gives me one of his full smiles.

'I can show you.' He says and bends down. Devouring my lips while wrapping his arms around my body.

* * *

'I want to talk to you.' He says with a serious expression on his face. My heart starts beating faster and faster. I feel nervous about what he is going to tell me.

'I decided to quit my job at the university.' He tells me and I feel dumbfounded for a moment. He did what? He quit the thing he liked doing the most?

'But why?' I ask him. He smiles sheepishly at me and gives me a quick kiss.

'I want to be with you, my Roza. I want to be there for you and for our child.' He says as he takes my hands in his big hands. 'I have made you a promise and I will always keep my promises to you. You are everything to me and I will do everything to make you happy.'

By the time he has finished I have the tears in my eyes and I lean forward to kiss him. I cup his cheeks and hold him close to me. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world right now. I'm going to have another baby with the man I love and he is going to be with me the entire pregnancy.

'Thank you comrade.' I whisper to him and he smiles at me.

'I talked to the director of the high school and he is going to give me more hours. I will work four days and one of those days I will also be working at night.' He tells me and I pull back.

'You will be even more home then with the other children.' I say with a happy smile on my face. He nods and pulls me close to him. Kissing me passionately.

'We really don't have time for another round comrade.' I say and pull back a little. He gives me another little pout and I bend forward to bite his lip. He is irresistible when he is like this.

'Tease. I have punish you when we come home from the doctors.' He says and kisses me again before leaving the bed. I feel my body aching by his words. Who is teasing who?

* * *

'Dimitri, please, be calm.' I say with a small laugh. We are sitting in the waiting room for our echo but Dimitri is moving his leg up and down in a nervous way. I place my hand on his leg to hold him still and smile at him.

'Sorry, I just can't wait to see our little one for the first time.' He says with a huge grin on his face. The happiness shining in his eyes. I can't describe how much it means to me that he is wanting this child so much.

'Everything will be fine.' I tell him and grab his hand. Tangling our fingers together. He squeezes a little and places a kiss on my temple.

'I love you, my Roza.' He says. I smile at him and tell him that I love him too. I want to say so much more but I don't want to declare my love to him in the waiting room.

'Are we going to tell everyone that we expecting again after this appointment?' Dimitri asks me while biting his lip. I know that he is eager to tell Olena that she is going to be a grandmother again. And knowing Olena she will be just as happy as when she was going to be a grandmother for the first time.

The woman is really a miracle. She has already turned grey and is getting older. But every time we see her she is full of energy and joy. She has fourteen grandchildren already and this will be number fifteen.

'We can throw an announcing party.' I say with a smile of myself. Olena would love to come to America for a vacation and maybe some of Dimitri's sisters. And we could tell Abe at the same time. He is a big mobster but when he is around his grandchildren he is just a big softy.

And of course we need to tell Lissa and Christian, Mason and Mia, Eddie and Jill and Adrian and Sydney. It is still a miracle that we stuck together after high-school. I met them all when I moved to America and they are still my best friends after twenty year.

Oh, and we should not forget Dimitri's friends. Mikhail and Sonya and of course Ivan. Maybe this time Ivan will have a girlfriend who is able to make him settle down. Forty-five years old and he claims that he is still too young to be bound to one person.

'That will be perfect.' He says and kisses me softly.

'Missis Belikova?' A young woman asks and I stand up, smiling at her. I shake her hand and introduce myself as Rose, hating when they call me missis. She introduces herself as Doctor Adams. She shakes Dimitri's hand and let us in the room.

She asks us first a couple of questions about the pregnancy so far and about earlier pregnancies. When she is satisfied that she has all the answers that she need she lets us further to the echo room. I pull my shirt up and lay down at the table. Dimitri grabbing my hand and sitting down beside me.

Doctor Adams gives me a reassuring smile before putting the cold gel on my belly. I flinch and squeeze Dimitri's hand. I will never get used to that coldness. She places the transducer on my belly and starts moving it, looking for our baby.

Soon the rapid beating of the heartbeat fills the room and I feel the tears in my eyes. My precious little baby. I look up at Dimitri with a big smile on my face and he has a similar smile on his face. Both goofy smiles and very happy to hear the heartbeat of our newest member of our little family.

Dimitri bends forward and places a kiss on my hand before we are both looking at the screen again. I try to make out my baby but it is still very hard. You would think that after three pregnancy's it would be a little easier but I can't find our baby.

'I have a surprise for you.' Doctor Adams says with a smile on her face. I grip Dimitri's hand harder to prepare myself for it. But what she tells me makes me silent for a while.


	5. One, two or?

Dimitri stand on one side of the room and I am standing on the other side. His hands in his hair, his back towards me. I'm standing in the doorway, my arms wrapped around myself and biting my lip softly. On the table is the picture of the echo we both ignore.

We are both so far away in our minds. Both thinking, struggling to figure this out. Both wondering and both somewhere happy. But the shocking effects of our echo are still inside of us and things haven't really come together inside our heads.

Ignoring, tick tock. Thinking about this morning and Dimitri's joke that it would be never one baby in my belly. Not one baby. How right could he be? How right could he be about the future of our babies? Yes plural.

A sob goes through my body and I let myself slide down the wall. My hands on my belly and my head up. I can't do this. I can't. This is too much. Way too much. I'm not ready for this.

'Roza?' his voice filling my mind. Oh, his voice. His touch on my body and his eyes boring into mine.

'I can't do this. I can't do this Dimitri.' I say and look away. But he cups my cheeks and makes me look at him. His eyes full of love are boring into my eyes.

'You can do this, my Roza. We can do this. Everything will be fine, I promise you.' He says and nods. I don't know who he is trying to convince. Me or himself. I let him pull me up and walk with him to the couch. Towards the picture of our echo.

He sits down and pulls me on his lap. My arms around his neck and his arms around my waist, one hand on my belly. He is rubbing his hand slowly in circles on my expanding stomach and his lips places a kiss on my cheek.

'We have been through so much Roza. We will manage to survive this as well.' He says. I pick up the picture and we both stare at it.

Triplets. I expected to have one more baby. I was ready for one more baby. Two babies scared me, thinking of how we survived the twins. But triplets? It just terrifies me. Thinking of taking care of three small babies. And thinking about how huge my belly will become with three babies growing inside.

'You will be beautiful.' Dimitri says, already knowing what I am thinking about.

'I won't be able to stand up on my own. I won't be able to see my feet for months this time. And I probably will be on the toilet all day.' I say with a terrified look. He chuckles and gives me a soft kiss.

'We will figure it out. You will be huge and beautiful. And then we will have three beautiful babies.' He says and I turn around a little.

'How can you not be terrified?' I ask him. I can't shake that terrifying feeling off, so why is he so calm.

'Because we already raised four children who are doing well. So after all that, these children will be perfect.' He says. And this time I laugh and smack him a little.

'I love you Comrade.' I say in a breath and lean against him.

'I love you, my Roza.' He says and his fingers grip my chin and turn my head towards his. His warm lips meeting mine in a passionate and sweet kiss.

'Didn't I promise to punish you for teasing me?' he asks me with a low and hoarse voice, already turning me on.

'Have I been bad mister Belikov?' I ask him and batches my eyelashes. He chuckles and his lips crashed down onto mine. I moan and mold my body into his. Clothes leaving our body and we enjoy having the whole house to ourselves.

* * *

'Don't we have an announcement party to organize?' Dimitri asks me with a grin. We are still lying on the couch, naked. Only a blanket covering out bodies.

'Are you really ready for their terror? And I mean Lissa.' I say and he nods. It doesn't matter that Lissa has two children of her own. She is always happy when someone is expecting. And excited isn't covering the mood she is.

'I want to share this news with everyone we know. I even want to scream it of the rooftops.' He says and places a kiss on the tip of my nose.

'What do we tell our parents? They have to have a reason to come all the way to America.' I tell him. We have to give them enough to get them here but not say that they are becoming grandparents, again.

'I have been thinking of that. We can invite them because we are married twenty years and tell them we want to have a party because of that.' He says with a smile. He has seriously thought about it.

'You are a genius. Do we invite them with their children?' I say. He just nods and his mind is already drifting off, thinking of a plan. If we are going to have so many people over this house would be full. Even beyond that.

Lissa and Christian married right after they finished college. They are still living in Portland and visiting us once in a while. And in the months they aren't visiting us we are traveling to visit them. They have two children. A boy and a girl. They called them Rhea and Eric.

Mason met Mia when they were both thirty and somehow they fell in love and got married. They have one child, a boy. It took them a long time before Mia got pregnant. His name is Jonah and he is six years old.

Eddie and Jill were already a couple when I met them. They have been together since Jill was fourteen and Eddie was sixteen. They have three children, all girls. Alice, Angelina and Amelia.

Adrian and Sydney were the most shock to us. They spend years of hating each other and then they got back from a vacation in Las Vegas and they got married there. Sydney was always full of believe and saving herself for marriage. And Adrian the biggest party boy you could find. But somehow they managed to work it out and they adopt a baby boy named Declan.

Sonya and Mikhail have been together for a long time. I don't even know how long. But they never managed to get children of their own. And after a long time they had decided to give it up and live their life with just the two of them. They both love children but didn't want to adopt.

And Ivan. Well, with the amount of sex he gets I wouldn't be surprised if one day a woman shows up at his door and tells him that he is a father. It is something I love to tease him with and something that he is absolutely terrified about.

'Yes, let's make a big family party out of it.' I say. He bends down and captures my lips with his own. A moan escapes his lips and he wraps himself around me. His legs holding mine in place and of his arms under my head and the other around my waist. I have just enough room to place my hands on his chest.

'Are those monsters of us coming home today?' he asks and I chuckle. Dimitri calls our children monsters when he is talking about all of them. With the way they acted when they were young and what kind of mischief they pulled they are monster. But they are our monsters.

I shake my head and place my lips on his. Not moving. He kisses me but I won't kiss him back. He growls and starts tickling me. I squeal and push him off. Making us fall to the ground. His eyes roaming over my now naked body and I do the same with him.

It doesn't matter that Dimitri is already forty-five years old, he is still a good-looking man. His stomach is still flat but he doesn't have the six-pack anymore that he used to have when he was in his twenties. Somewhere at the age of thirty he stopped shaving his chest, something I have teased him with, a lot. Never knew that he actually shaved it.

The hair on his chest still the dark brown, almost black, color that is so familiar. Strong, big arms and muscled legs. No his body doesn't say that he became that much older than when I met him. And of course you can see the difference but it isn't a turn off.

But there are signs that he is actually becoming older. The stubble on his cheeks when hasn't shaved is more a mix of grey and brown instead of only brown. Around his eyes and on his forehead the lines has formed of stress and age. And his once beautiful dark brown hair has traces of grey in it.

My beautiful husband that I have luckily married twenty years ago is becoming older. And I know that my body tells him the same. I used to be so thin and my stomach was flat. But after the birth of Ivan, I never managed to get that same shape back. My breasts has become bigger after birth and breastfeeding and now with another pregnancy they will grow again.

I don't have the time anymore to exercise as much as I used to do when I was seventeen. And that is showing on my arms and legs. They are still in shape but never the way they used to be. Never with that much muscles they used to have.

And every time I look in the mirror I can the lines appearing on my own face. Near my eyes and my mouth. And even on my forehead. My hair started to became thinner and not that full bunch of hair I once had.

But I know that even when Dimitri has lost the brown color in his hair and he has to shave it, I will still go through his hair with my fingers. And with every line appearing on his face I will trace it and map it so I know that this is my Dimitri. I still love him, even when he has started to become older. And I know that he will love me until the end.

Our eyes meeting and I know that he can see what I was thinking off. His gaze soften and his lips capturing mine in a loving and slow kiss. It's that kind of kiss that made you melt when he first gave it to you. And it is that kind of kiss that still makes you melt, even after twenty years of marriage.

'You are so beautiful, my Roza. I love you.' He says and his eyes locked with mine. His eyes telling the words that his mouth can't tell. His eyes telling me the story that can't be told with words.

'I love you Dimitri. Even when you are old and grey.' I say with a smile and he smiles back at me before capturing my lips again. Our kiss starts sweet and slow again but it heat up quick enough. His hands are setting my body on fire.

He is making sweet love to me. Our body's tangled together, our eyes locked. Our bodies moving together until we hear the front door. Our movements stop that instance and we look at each other with big eyes. Someone came home early.

Dimitri stands up and pulls me with him. Both silent and trying to figure out a way to pretend nothing happens. But we both know that will be impossible. I pick up the blanket and wrap it around my body. We both pick up the clothing pieces that are lingering on the ground. He nods at me and I nod back. Preparing ourselves for the worst thing ever.

He sprints and I sprint after him. Through the kitchen and the hallway. Two shocked children staring at us as we sprint up the stairs to our room. I hear Dimitri laugh and I can't help but chuckle. Feeling like a kid that got busted.

'Mam, what the hell?!' I hear Ivan say and I have to laugh even harder at that.

'You weren't supposed to be home.' I yell at him while sprinting after Dimitri. I let myself fall next to him on our bed and can't stop the laughing. It is probably the funniest thing ever. And there is a big chance that we scared him for life.

Dimitri turns towards me and places his hand on my stomach, rubbing circles on the skin. His lips attacking my neck and I arch my back. My hands tangle in his hair and I let out a soft moan.

'We should put on some clothes and go downstairs.' I say and he pulls away with a sigh. I don't want to stop either but we both know that this would be the right thing to do.

'Have you seen the girl that Ivan brought home?' Dimitri asks and I almost choke on the laughter that leaves my body. The first impression we have made to that pour girl. The first time that Ivan is bringing a girl home with him and they find us like that.

'Poor girl.' I say with a grin. Dimitri has a grin on his face also. He shakes his head as he stands up and starts putting on his clothes. I'm not moving and watching my husband move around the room. His movements and the way his muscles bend is so familiar to me. The patterns that he uses is something I can map out in details.

'You coming?' he asks and holds his hands out to me, he is already fully dressed. I take his hands and he pulls me up. Hugging me for a moment before leaving the room. I have to take a moment to take a couple of breaths before putting on my own clothes.

We still haven't really talked and both are ignoring it. The things that are bothering us are not leaving our mouths and we pretend to be a happy couple. And I know that we can be and somewhere we really are a happy couple but we still need to discuss everything.

We need a plan before those babies will be born. I don't want to be alone in this pregnancy. And while I have never said a word about it to Dimitri, I have felt so alone when I was pregnant of my other children. There wasn't a thing we could do different but this time we can. And this time I need him to be there for me.

I have put on my clothes and pulled my hair up in a high bun before leaving the bedroom. Our bedroom. Our little save haven when we needed to be alone. How many times we have sit up in our bed in the middle of the night discussing all the things that were on our minds.

All those nights when we discussed the future of our children. Everything that we have done for them and I wouldn't change a single thing. But somewhere in between we lost the connection we once had. We did the thing we needed to do as a parent, putting our children before ourselves. But we forget to take the time to talk to each other.

Really talk. We didn't talk about our days anymore. Didn't discuss all the weird stuff that we saw that day. He stopped whispering sweet nothings in my ear before falling to sleep. And I stopped with making him lunches and putting special things in his lunchbox.

And now we are trying. And now he is back and promising things to me. But it really became clear to me when Anthony and Tamara left the house to go to college that we didn't know how to be a couple anymore. And we can't just act like we are still that. Because somewhere in those twenty years we stopped being a real couple.

Don't get me wrong because I still love Dimitri very much. I still want to be with him in better and worse. But I want the us back where we still gave each other those promising smiles and him pulling me to him when the kids weren't looking to give me a quick peck on the lips.

I just need to talk to him so we can work on that. I pull the bedroom door closed behind me and walk down the stair towards the kitchen. Pulling out some things to make lunch before walking towards the voices. I am curious to the girl that Ivan has brought with him.


	6. The plan

'Can we talk for a moment?' Dimitri asks me as he sits down next to me. I have planted myself on the old hammock chair in the back of our garden. My body slides towards his and I lay my legs over his. He lays one of his hands on my knee and wraps the other around me.

'You have something important to discuss?' I ask him with a small smile. He nods and gives me quick peck on the lips. He let out a soft moan before capturing my lips again. Driving me crazy with his sweet and demanding kiss.

'Dimitri.' I let out when he starts kissing towards my neck. I push him away a little before speaking further. 'We have children in the house.'

'They should be thankful their parents still love each other.' he says and presses a kiss beneath my ear. It is one of my weak point and it makes me shiver.

'I don't think they want to see their parents making out in the backyard.' I tell him. He lets out a loud sigh before he pulls back let his head rest against my forehead.

'Do you have a plan?' I ask him, moving my eyes to his and be captured by his beautiful brown eyes. It is incredible how this man can still drive me crazy. He nods and pulls back completely. Making it easier to talk.

'I told you that I quit working for the university. But with being so close to summer vacation I am working there until the summer vacation starts. It means that I still have to be there for the next two or three weeks.' He says and I nod. That sounds normal.

'Like other years I will work in the summer on the local high school. Teaching the night classes. But this summer I will work three nights instead of two.' He says. I want to disagree with that choice but he gives me one look that shuts me up.

'After the summer I will be working four days. I thought I would take Monday of. Tuesday will be the longest day and then I will work on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. If I work this summer three days instead of two, I will get the Friday afternoons off once in the two weeks.' He says with a smile. Really proud of himself.

I think about it for a moment. Pretending that it is a tough decision. We both know that he will be a home more than he has ever been.

'Are we going to be okay if we have to spend so much time together?' I ask him. I don't want to lose him.

'We will be fine.' He says and he pulls my chin up a little with his fingers so I have to look at him.

'You know how I can be so sure?' he asks me and shake my head no. 'Because every night when I go to sleep the first thing I am looking for is you. And every morning when I woke up my hand reaches out to touch you. I am always looking for you. Even when you are not even with me.'

'My life had been plain and dull without you. But you ran into my life and made me see that it didn't need to be that way. You made me laugh and made me think about things that I had never given a second thought. You became the light in my life even before I knew that.'

'And after that you became even more wonderful. You gave me four wonderful children and even became my wife. For twenty years and even longer, you have stood by me and supported me. Challenged me and gave me the courage to do things I wouldn't have done otherwise.'

'I am proud to hold your hand and call me your wife. I will honor and worship you for the rest of my life, my sweet Roza. And even when things aren't the best between us in this moment I will never give up on you, on us. Even when I have to work for it every day for the rest of our lives, I will do it without thinking twice.' He finishes his speech and tears are rolling over my cheeks.

I reach out and cradle his cheek with my hand. Caressing the skin with my thumb before leaning forward to kiss him.

'Thank you.' I whisper and kiss him again. 'I love you.'

'I love you too Roza.' He says and kisses me again. There would have been a time when I needed to tell him what he meant to me. But after all those years we don't need words to know when the other feels the same. And of course I will tell him what he means to me and what I love about him. But I don't need to do that as a respond to his amazing speech.

'You remember our first date?' he says with a grin. I let out a chuckle and laugh myself. We were horrible at that time. Our first date was months after Ivan was born. We were already married and everything before we got the chance to go on a date.

'I remember how nervous I was. Maybe even more nervous than the day that I married you. And all I could think of what is she doesn't like it? What if we don't have any subjects were we could talk about?' he says with a laugh. I shake my head in amusement.

'I mostly remember that I wanted to look pretty for that night. And I was scared out of my mind that you wouldn't think I was beautiful or something like that. My body didn't look like it had been before I got Ivan and my clothes didn't fit the way that I wanted. And I know it was crazy because we saw each other every day and we slept next to each other every night.' I say and take a break to swallow.

'I know that I was scared because we had been having sex in that time. But it had always been late at night and with the lights out. Even when I thought it had been great I was so scared that you switched the light out because you didn't want to see my body.' I say and look away from him. I was so insecure about my body in that time.

'And then you somehow arranged that we would show up at that restaurant separately. I had been waiting there for a quarter being so nervous when you finally showed up. And you looked so beautiful that night. I was so stunned that I couldn't find the words to say to you. And you took my silence the wrong way and started crying.' He says.

'You rushed towards me and all worried what happened. And I think that was the first night we finally got to really talk to each other. Telling what was bothering us and how we could fix that. It was the first night that we made love with the lights on.' I say with a happy smile on my face.

'And it was that night that you told me you were pregnant again. I seriously thought I would get a heart attack when you told me. How could we be so bad in using protection?' he says and chuckles at the end. I laugh and let my head lean on his shoulder.

'Well, even after so much time we haven't figured it out yet.' I say and lay my hand on my stomach. He laughs and places his hand on top of mine.

'I hope our children will be better in using It.' he says with a stern look on his face. I snort and laugh again. Hoping the same thing.

'We talked with them. Taught them all about it. Annoyed them with it until they were blushing and ashamed of us.' I say and we both laugh this time. Remembering our talk with each of our children. The first time it was mostly awkward but the last time was just funny.

'I will still take you on dates after the triplets are born, I promise you. We have four children who can watch them and we have Sonya and Mikhail. Maybe it wouldn't be every week, probably not. But I am going to make sure that we get that night at least once in a month.' He says, all serious now.

'Maybe they want to adopt one of them.' I say and rub my hand over my belly.

'They don't want… Oh, you're terrible.' He says. First all serious but stopping as I burst out laughing. I would never give up my children for adoption.

After that we just remain sitting there, our limbs tangled together. My head resting on his chest so I can hear his steady heartbeat. We both have one of our hands on my belly and our fingers tangled. I am thinking about what he told me and about his plan.

'What am I going to do with my job Dimitri?' I ask him.

'I don't know Roza. Maybe you should…' he says and sighs but he doesn't finish his sentence.

'Quit it?' I finish with a question. I raise my brows but know that he can't see it. I have worked so hard to get my degree and a job and now I can quit it again?

'I know Roza. You have worked so hard for this and I am proud of you. Our children are proud of you. But I don't know if we can both be working and still raise our children.' he says and I feel myself getting angry. It isn't about what he is saying but the way he is saying it.

'Then maybe you should quit your job.' I say, challenging him. I feel his jaw set and I know that I have him with that. He doesn't want to quit his job. He doesn't want to stay home and raise the children. But I don't think it is fair that I should be doing it. Just because I am a woman?

'Roza, I…' he begins but doesn't finish it.

'What Dimitri? You don't want to be a stay home dad? You think that is more a woman's job?' I ask him. Pulling back and looking at his face. He looks mostly desperate.

'No I don't think that it is a woman's job Rose.' he says. His hand leaving my belly and he runs his hand through his hair. A sign of nervousness.

'Than what Dimitri?' I ask him, giving him the chance to explain himself.

'Because I don't know how to raise a child.' He says and looks down at me. His eyes serious. My mood soften the moment he says that. Of course he does know how to raise a child. I want to tell him that but he doesn't give me a chance.

'No, don't say it. I haven't been home much when the kids were little. I was that kind of dad that only was home at night and even then I barely did anything. You were always there to change their diapers, to give them food. It was you they asked for when they went to bed. It always had been you Roza. And don't get me wrong because I am so grateful for you. But I still have no idea what to do?' he says desperately.

'I don't know what it means when the baby cries. I can't tell by the way they sound if they need a dry diaper or they need a bottle or they just need to be hold. You know that and you are so good with them.' He says and he bends his head. His eyes not meeting mine.

I cup his cheeks with my hands and make him look into my eyes. My sweet, silly husband. I never knew he was so insecure about this. I didn't know that this was bothering him.

'You think I knew that when Ivan was born? You think I wasn't desperate and scared? I was only eighteen when I suddenly became a mom. And you know that I mostly grew up without one. So how could I have known what to do with him?' I say to him with a sweet smile. He shrugs his shoulders and gives me an unknown look.

'I had to find out the hard way Dimitri. There were many days when he would cry and I had no clue what to do. It made me cry sometimes when I didn't know what my own child needed. But somehow I learned about that. And after Ivan taught me all that, it was easier. I knew better what to do and what they needed.' I tell him, being honest about it.

It is one of those things I have never told him. Never bothered him with. It was such a stressful time and I didn't think I needed to add that to his stress. Because I still believed that every mother needed to find out on her own. Because no child is the same.

'You never told me that.' He says, his voice small. I chuckle and shake my head.

'Crazy husband. You would be fine. You are an amazing father and all of your children love you very much.' I tell him. 'But I have already thought about it and I want to quit my job.'

His eyes lighten up a little when I tell him that and I almost want to scold him about that. How can he be happy that I am going to give up my job? Maybe it is his old-fashioned thinking that a child needs to grow up with his mother home. At least until they start school.

'I love you so much Roza.' He says and bends his head to nuzzle in my neck. I laugh at the tickling feeling and push him away a little.

'Mama, have you seen mine red shirt?' Anthony screams to us. I let out a sigh and move myself out of his arms. If they didn't had their heads attached to their bodies they would lose them too? I can't believe that he is home for a day and is already looking for his clothes.

'Mom! I need it.' he yells again. I shake my head and stand up.

'You know he is gay, right.' Dimitri says and he makes a funny face while saying that, making me laugh at him. I shake my head as I start walking towards the house.

We have suspected Anthony is gay from a very early age. He always wanted what Tamara wanted and even when he grew up he was always a little different than Ivan and Logan. He never interested in sports or games. He went shopping with his sister and her friends. But he gave more signs about it.

It became so noticeable that one night we ended up talking about it. What we both would think about it if he did and how we would react. And that made us come to the conclusion that we would still love him. And we would support him in everything he was going to do.

But the thing is, he is seventeen and he still hasn't told us. He wants to become an editor and that doesn't mean anything. But I think that he wants to be an editor of a fashion magazine. And I won't look at him any different way but I just wish he would tell us.


	7. Olena and Abe

'Your belly has just popped.' Dimitri says as I meet him at the front door. He has been away for three full weeks to finish everything at the university. And I can't remember if I ever had to miss him for three whole weeks. But I missed him so much.

'What is it with you and calling your pregnant wife fat.' I say and put my hands on my hips. A smile on my lips as he shakes his head and takes another step towards me. He places his hands over mine and bends down to give me a quick peck on the lips.

'I love seeing my wife pregnant of my children.' he says and kisses me more passionate.

'You have a huge problem comrade.' I say laughing. I move myself out of his embrace and get my jacket and purse. Dimitri laughs at my comment.

'Are you ready?' he asks me and I nod. We walk towards the car and he sits behind the wheel. And in a reflex the moment we are on the road he reach out his hand and I clamp it between mine. Something we have always done while driving.

'I can't believe they took a flight together.' I say with a chuckle. Still can't believe it. Today we will be picking up Abe and Olena. First we had wanted to have a surprise party and then announce that we are having another child. But being pregnant with triplets it became too hard to hide my belly.

I'm coming closer and closer towards those four months and the belly that I have isn't easy to hide. So in the end we just decided to tell them. And after we had told them the news we would invite them over here. Since they are both retired they will be staying the whole summer here.

They both reacted the same way. They are both loving grandparents and were very excited to have a small baby in the family again. For Abe it had been the longest since he had to hold a baby. I have always been his only child so after the birth of Tamara and Anthony he hadn't had a new baby in his family.

But for Olena it had only been four years. Viktoria had at the age of thirty-three been pregnant of the latest child in the family. But Olena reacted like Abe. You would think that after having fourteen grandchildren she would have enough. But there she was on the phone, even wishing that we would have multiple babies. Something we hadn't told them yet.

Abe was so excited that he had dropped the phone three times. He was becoming old at the age of sixty-eight. The moment we had told him that he was going to be a grandfather again he wanted to jump right on the plane to come see us.

But we convinced him to wait a little longer and come around the same time as Olena. That way I wasn't stuck in one house with my father and my mother in law. I needed Dimitri when it came to these two.

Olena had turned seventy-five this year but you wouldn't give her that age. Yes her hair had turned completely grey and she has more and more lines appearing on her face. And even when she walked a lot slower than years ago when we first met, she was still full energy.

Even when Abe had retired a couple years ago he was still working on a couple of things. And sometimes he had to go to Russia for his work. Dimitri and I both knew that every time he would go to Russia he would visit Olena.

Not in a romantic way or anything. They would just talk and drink coffee together. Things like that. They wouldn't admit it to us. But Karolina, Sonya and Viktoria told us about it when it first happened, fifteen years ago.

And now fifteen years later Abe had received the position of grandfather to the children of Karolina, Sonya and Viktoria. The old man loved that and you could see it when you looked at him. But when we had called with the news and he didn't came to America right away, he went to Russia.

And now they stepped into that plane together so they could talk a little more. I even think they set up a couple of bets on what gender the child would be. And on how many children there are in my belly.

'Well, that way we only need to go to the airport once.' He says with a smile. I know that he is happy to see his mother. The big bad Russian is a true mother's boy. And even after forty-five years that hasn't changed a single bit.

'We should visit Russia sometimes. We haven't seen your sisters in forever.' I say and sigh loudly. In the years that we are married I have become really close to his sisters. Especially Viktoria. But since she has a four year old and we have been busy here we haven't seen each other for years now. And even when we talk on skype it isn't the same.

'That won't be happening soon.' He says and looks for a small moment towards my belly. I let out a sigh and lay my hand on my expanding abdomen. I have so many mixed feelings about this pregnancy it is weird.

'Are you not enjoying this pregnancy Roza?' he asks with his brows furrowed in worry. I lay my head against the headrest and give him a small smile.

'I am. I am. But it seems so much harder this time. I have worked so hard since that last pregnancy and I never thought that I had to give it up again.' I say and feel the tears in my eyes. Stupid, stupid hormones they make me cry about every single thing.

'Are you scared?' he asks me and squeezes my hand. I shake my head and he raises one eyebrow up. Still wishing I could do that.

'I am terrified.' I admit to him. In all those years I have worked so hard to finally get my degree and find work. And now that I am pregnant again and even pregnant of triplets, I have no other choice than to quit working. I never thought about myself as a stay home mom.

'Don't be terrified milaya. I am right by your side and we will figure it all out.' he says. I can see and feel at the way he acts that he wants to wrap his arms around me. And I wish he could wrap his arms around me in this moment.

We talk a little more in the ride towards the airport but we are both ignoring the more important subject. Not that we don't want to talk about it. But I don't want to have my eyes red rimmed when we are seeing our parents. And I know that he wants to be able to hold me if that is necessary.

He parks the car and we step out. I pull him towards me before we walk inside. My hand in his neck and I draw his mouth to mine. His arms wrap around me and I fist my other hand in his shirt. We kiss a sweet passionate kiss for a while until he pulls back.

'I have missed you these three weeks Dimitri.' I tell him when I remember that we haven't taken the time to talk about it.

'I have missed you too my Roza.' He says and bends down for another kiss. We pull back at the same time and start walking. We are holding hands and I bump into him once in a while.

'Are you going to tell me all about your weeks without me?' I ask him with a smile. He looks down and gives me one of his full smiles.

'I am going to tell you every single detail if you want.' He answers. And I know that he will do that if I want to hear it. I want to hear every single detail that he want to tell me. So I know that when we go to bed tonight that he will collect me in his arms and will tell me everything.

'But I am going to tell you everything under one condition.' He says with a cheeky grin. We have arrived at the gate where our parents will arrive.

'What condition?' I ask him. Already knowing what condition he is talking about.

'That I am allowed to make sweet love to you.' He says and bends down a little to give a quick peck on my lips. Before I can answer him I hear a loud groan and we both look up. Our parents are standing a couple of feet away from us but in earshot.

'You know I don't want to hear that.' Abe says. He looks mostly mortified. Even after twenty years of marriage and four children he doesn't want to think that his daughter is having sex. Olena stands next to him, her cheeks a little red and her eyes on the ground.

'Old man.' I say and pull him in a hug. He wraps his arms around me tightly and he tell me how much he missed me and how much he loves me. I tell him the same thing as new tears are forming in my eyes.

After Abe and I let go of each other we switch and then Olena and I have our arms wrapped around each other. And it doesn't matter that she isn't my real mother, it feels like she is. She tells me how much she misses me and how much she loves me as I do the same.

Dimitri picks up the two suitcases and carried them towards the car. Abe wanted to protest but after a little staring competition I hooked my arm in his and pulled him towards the car. He keeps asking me questions about the pregnancy and I keep answering them. Hearing Olena and Dimitri talking behind me in Russian.

* * *

Saying that they were a little bit shocked to hear that we were expecting triplets isn't covering their reaction. They sat there for a couple minutes just staring before they could react. But in the end they liked the idea of getting three new grandchildren.

And we ate together, just the four of us. After dinner we sat outside for hours and talked a lot before we decided to go to bed. It had been a long day. For Dimitri but even for Abe and Olena. Flying from Russia towards America was a long flight.

In our house we have don't have any spare rooms so we made the beds in the children rooms for them. And when the children arrive home this weekend we will make new arrangements who is sleeping where. That will be interesting.

And when the weekend is over we will have a full house. All our four children will be coming home for the entire summer. So we have four children, ourselves and our parents. And we haven't heard if they are bringing friends over.

They have done that before. And how much I love it when they are bringing friends home it wouldn't be very practical this summer. But if the house is going to be too full they just have to sleep in a tent in the garden.

But right now I am lying in our big bed with the love of my life. He is sitting against the headboard and I am sitting between his legs. My head is resting against his chest and four hands are resting against my stomach. I have pulled my sleeping shirt up so we can touch the bare skin.

For the last half hour we have told each other what we have been doing in the last three weeks and it feels good to have him with me again. To be able to touch him and see him when I talk with him. And even when we talked every day. Talking like this is so much better.

'I can't even tell you how much I have missed you.' He says as he is giving me small kisses in my neck and on my shoulders. I tilt my head to one side so he has better access.

'Don't ever spend so much time without me again.' I say and I feel him nod. After that we spent some time showing each other how much we love each other before we fall asleep. His strong, big arms wrapped around my body and my head resting on his chest.


	8. Memories

'Roza, have you seen this?' his voice comes from the other side of the attic. I walk towards him and let myself sit down next to him when I see what he has in his hands. Our wedding picture.

Since we have been busy with cleaning the attic we keep finding stuff and we keep talking about it for another hour or so. So this whole cleaning thing, it takes us days. But is necessary since the house is to full with people.

Our children decided to bring friends home with them and that isn't a big deal or anything. But now instead of four children around the house, we have eight. And both our parents are here. So twelve people in a house that is meant to have six in it.

We thought that it would be a good idea to clean the attic and reduce the boxes to half of the room. That way we could let a couple of children stay here instead of the tent in the backyard. Since we need that space for our little party.

Today we have been cleaning for a couple of hours and it went pretty well. Until Dimitri found our wedding picture. I lean my head at his shoulder and look at the picture with a smile. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me a little closer.

'We look so polite on this picture. Well, I look polite. You look mostly pregnant on this picture.' He says with a chuckle. I push him a little and he laughs even harder. He is right but it isn't nice to say. I was seven months pregnant when we got married and there was no dress that would fit me normally.

'It was your fault that I was pregnant.' I tell him and try to give him an angry glare. But I am not mad at him at all so I can't really give him an angry glare.

'I wasn't the only one in that bed and you were there willingly.' He says and gives me a quick peck on the lips.

'Let's talk about happier things.' I say to him. And for a moment I know he wants to point out who begun with it but he holds it in and I give him a smile. Smart move.

'I know how nervous I was, standing there, waiting for you. And even when it was such a small wedding. We didn't even invite our parents.' He says and shakes his head when he chuckles at the memory. They were furious.

'And I stood there with Ivan next to me. And you only invited Lissa to the wedding. So we stood there with the two of us and Ivan kept telling me that I could call of the wedding. He told me over and over and made the most ridiculous escape plans.' He tells me and I raise my brows, that is something I haven't heard before.

'I kept telling him that I wanted to marry you and was ready for it. And when you appeared into the doorway my whole world stood still. Even Ivan was silent when you stood there. Because you looked even more beautiful than you had ever done. Standing there in your wedding dress while you were seven months pregnant.' He says.

'And you needed Lissa's help with walking through the aisle. Our whole ceremony took only half an hour and after that we just went to eat cake and everything you wanted. I had wanted to give you the perfect wedding day, you know. The whole big thing.' He says and is suddenly a little sad.

'But I wanted to make that promise to you. I wanted you to know that I wasn't going to run when things got hard. And I wanted you to know that I meant it when I said that I was going to be there for you and for Ivan.' He says as he wraps me in his embrace.

'I never wanted to get married. I just wanted to study in America and after that I wanted to go home. Back to Turkey. But then you walked into my life.' I tell him as I lay my head against his chest.

'I knew that.' He says and I pull back. Looking up at him so I can see his eyes. Even after being married for such a long time there are things we haven't discussed yet.

'I didn't know that you knew.' I say and he laughs. Placing a kiss on my lips.

'One look at you face when I pulled out that ring told me enough Roza.' He says and this time I laugh with him. Knowing that I was terrified when he asked me to marry me.

'Do you know why I said yes?' I ask him with a grin on my face. Knowing that it is a terrible reason but also know that he doesn't know it. And as suspected he shakes his head no.

'I was more scared of telling my father that I was pregnant and alone than telling him that I was pregnant and married.' I tell him. He has a shocked look on his face before he starts laughing a deep and warm laugh.

'You are terrible.' He tells me.

'Can you blame me?' I ask him and he shakes his head no again. I give him a huge grin that he kisses away.

'Your father is terrifying.' He tells me and shudders. 'Even after all those years he can scare the hell out of me.'

'I didn't know that you still found him terrifying.' I tell him and I shake my head at him.

'You two are kind of alike.' He tells me and I raise my brows at him again.

'So, you think I am terrifying?' I ask him. Really wanting to hear the answer of that question.

'You can be terrifying.' He admits and I give him an ever larger grin.

'Glad that I can be terrifying.' I tell him and lean in to kiss him. Our mouths work together in a passionate and loving way. I tangle my hands in his hair and play with the strands. He wraps his arms around me and rubs circles on my lower back.

'I still can't believe that you are pregnant.' He says and his eyes land on my growing stomach. I am already showing and it is even grown so much that I can't hide it either.

'Your fault.' I tease him and he chuckles.

'I will take the blame.' He says and rest his hand on my stomach.

'Glad that you will take the blame. That means that you can get up in the middle of the night when one of these is hungry.' I tell him with a smile. And he laughs again, pecking my lips.

'You had to remind me of that.' He says to me and I nod my head.

'It was needed because you always remember the good time and push the bad things away.' I tell him and us both know that I am right.

I will love seeing our children grow up. And I will love seeing them learning to talk, to walk and teach them everything I know. But a thing that I won't be missing is standing up in the middle of the night to change diapers or to feed them. And with triplets that will be even worse.

'Next picture.' He says and pulls out another framed picture from the box he had in front of him. This time it is a picture of him with no shirt on. He is lying on his stomach and Ivan is lying on his back. A huge happy grin on the babies face.

After that he picks up another picture and this is one of me pregnant with Logan. Ivan is sitting on my lap with his tiny hands on my expanded stomach. He has another happy grin on his face. Ivan was our smiling baby.

He was such an easy baby and it made us think that it would be that way when Logan was born. But Logan was an energetic baby and was terrible at sleeping through the night. He kept us up almost completely in his first three weeks.

The following picture is one of Ivan and Logan together. They were very sweet together and have been close since Logan was old enough to play with him. Something entirely different when Tamara and Anthony were born.

The following picture is taken after the twins are born. And after they were born I knew that our family was complete, or so I thought at that time. I was mother of four small children and I still don't know how I survived that.

Through the pictures we see our children grow up. Ivan and Logan both joining the softball team. And Tamara and Anthony both wanted to go to ballet. We would find out later that Tamara was only going because of Anthony.

The box contains there school pictures and we can see them turning from adorable children into teenagers and see them going through their hard times. Ivan turned from an outgoing child into a silent teenager. He kept his kindness and he was always very serious about school.

Logan was always the one in trouble. And since he and Ivan were close, Ivan was in trouble too. Logan was our bad boy but it didn't mean that he wasn't a good kid. He still it. He still wants to do everything his own way but at least he isn't drinking of doing drugs.

Tamara was always the silent person. She would rather read and watch movies than she would go out. Since her childhood she had the same group of friends and they were still a group.

Anthony was the one who changed the most. And I guess that he was the one who was struggling the most. And since we are still waiting for him to come out of the closet.

But another thing about those pictures is seeing the relationship between Dimitri and I grow. We definitely didn't get married for the right reasons and we weren't in love back then. But looking at the pictures you can tell when we fell in love.

You can see the way that we look at each other changes. We got more affectionate and loving to each other. We loved our children from the moment we saw them but we needed to learn to love each other.

And we just sit there next to each other. With my side pressed against his and his arm wrapped around my shoulder. He has a huge smile on his face and I know that I have too. Not all those memories were good but they were all worth the fights.

'I love you Roza.' He says.

'I love you Dimitri.' I tell him.

He cups my cheeks with his large hands and pulls me closer to him. His lips brushing against mine before I press mine harder against his. I open my mouth for him even before he can even trace his tongue against my bottom lip.


	9. Five months

**I recently changed the rating from M to T. With this I have made a couple little changes in the previous chapters. Nothing that changes the plot or is a change to the chapters.**

Another month has passed and with being five months pregnant now I am officially not able anymore to see my toes. There is just a giant belly in the way and what is beneath it I can't tell you anymore. So dressing is another struggling thing and I need help with that.

And I can't even explain how grateful I am that Dimitri is there for me every morning. Helping me to roll of the bed because I have fallen of the bed a couple of times trying to sit up. And he helps me shower, not that I need help with that. But he says he wants to do that.

So he showers with me and helps me get dressed. He is the one who put shoes on my feet and makes sure they are tied. And I find myself waggling around the house more than I am walking. Trying to take care of eight children and both our parents.

But today will be a little different. Today is our appointment with the doctor and today we will out the genders of our babies. Something we both are very excited about. We are both hoping that the tree of them all have the same gender. And Dimitri is wishing for girls.

'Are you awake?' I hear Dimitri ask as he wraps his arm around me. His body folded against mine. His nose in my neck as he tries to wake me. The only thing is that I am already awake.

'Are you excited for today?' I ask him. Rolling myself over so I can look at him. His lips meeting mine in a short good morning kiss.

'I am. After today we can really look forward to welcoming our girls.' He says with a grin. I chuckle and smack him lightly.

'How are you feeling?' he asks me, something he asks me every morning. As he traces my expanded stomach with his feeling.

'Giant.' I tell him, making him chuckle. I give him another quick kiss before turning again. With a little help from Dimitri I manage to stand up and I make my way to the bathroom.

So in that moment we start our routine. He steps into the shower while I make an emergency pit stop by the toilet. And after my blather is empty I pull the shirt over my head and let my sleeping pants and panties fall onto the floor. I step into the shower where I wash myself with a little help from Dimitri.

He lets me dry my own body, thankfully. And we dress and go downstairs for breakfast. Meeting Olena who is already standing in the kitchen, making breakfast. We all love her cooking.

* * *

And hour and a half later and we are sitting in the waiting room. Dimitri's knee is bouncing in a nervous way as he stares to the opposite wall. I lay my hand on his knee and he stops his motion. His head turning my way as he gives me a huge grin.

'The children were taking bets on the gender.' I tell him. He laughs as he shakes his head.

'I know. I told them that you were having girls. Told them that if I was wrong I would take them out for dinner' he tells me. I give him a shocked look before I smash his arm.

'You are terrible.' I tell him. 'I told them that there were two girls and a boy inside my belly.'

We grin as idiots at each other. He grabs my hand and kisses the back of my hand.

'I love you Roza. No matter what.' He says as his eyes are boring into mine. I nod and lean a little forward to give him a quick peck on the lips.

'I love you comrade.' I say to him before leaning back again. We sit in a comfortable silence for a while before the doctor announce that we can come further into her office.

This time she leads us directly to the echo room and I sit down on the table. Dimitri sits down on a chair on the left side of me. Gripping my hand tightly in his. And I feel a nervous flutter in my stomach. We will find out about the gender of our babies.

The doctor starts with her list of questions. When she is satisfied with the answers of the questions she moves further towards the physical exam. She takes my blood pressure and things like that. It seems all normal or as normal in a pregnancy can be.

And finally she tells me that I can pull up my shirt and lie down. I do as she says and give Dimitri a full smile before turning to the doctor. The cold gel comes in contact with my skin, making me shiver a little. She rolls the transducer over my stomach. The sound of the rapid heartbeat of one of our babies filling the room.

She makes the check up on all three of them and showing their hearts and all their toes. It will always be an amazing thing to see. The way a baby can grow inside of your belly until they are able to manage in the real world. And then you hold your baby in your arms and the whole world will stop for a moment.

'Do you want to know the gender of your babies?' Doctor Adams asks us with a kind smile on my face. I turn towards Dimitri for a final answer. But he just nods and I nod too.

'We love to know the gender.' I tell her with a huge smile on my face. She nods and turns towards the screen. Rolling the transducer again and trying to get a peek of their genders.

'Alright, here is baby number one.' She says as she points towards one of the babies. 'And baby number one will be a boy.'

I grin as I turn around to see Dimitri. But he doesn't looks like he is disappointed about the fact that he is going to have another boy. He looks excited and he gives me a quick peck on the lips.

'Let's move further towards baby two.' She says and I turn around to watch the screen again. 'Baby two and baby three share a placenta, which means that they are identical twins. Their gender will be the same.'

So if this baby will be a boy we will have three boys. And if this baby is going to be a girl, the other baby will be a girl as well.

'Baby two and three are two girls.' She says and she gives us a polite smile. I turn towards Dimitri with tears in my eyes. One boy and two girls. It is perfect. And it seems like Dimitri is thinking the same. He has to wipe a tear away from his eye before he gives me a loving kiss.

He cups my cheek with his hand and gives me a couple more kisses before we manage to pull back a little. Both a huge grin lingering on our lips as we look in each other teary eyes. He leans back to me and is kissing me again. Both completely forgetting about the doctor.

A soft cough makes us pull back completely and turn back to the doctor. But the look on her face isn't a happy one. She gives me a couple tissues so I can wipe my belly clean.

'I want to talk to you about something.' She tells me as she stands up to give us a minute. As soon as she is out the room I give Dimitri a worried look. He shakes his head as he cups both of my cheeks.

'Everything will be fine.' He tells me and I nod in his hands. He gives me a lingering kiss before he stands up and helps me off the table. We walk together in the doctor office and sit down at her desk.

'I want to talk to you about the placenta of two babies. From the way it looked on the echo today it seems like the placenta has moved itself to the cervix. It isn't a danger for the babies but it will be giving complication with the birth of your children.' She says in a very serious tone.

I feel my heartbeat quicken and my stomach tighten at what she is telling us. I reach out and take Dimitri's hand in mine. My mind is spinning and I can't seem to find the right thing to ask or say.

'What kind of complications?' Dimitri asks and I am thankful for him in this moment. I don't know what I should do without him.

'It means that a natural way of birth isn't a possibility anymore. The babies will be coming into this world with the help of a C-section.' She says and I feel my mood lighten a little. It isn't the end of the world if I don't have to push them out myself.

'But it also means that we want to have more supervision on your pregnancy. More appointments with me and a couple in the hospital. The babies will be born in the hospital and brought into this world as soon as they can.' She tells us.

'Why is that?' Dimitri asks her. He has a thoughtful look and his thumb keeps rubbing the back of my hand. I still haven't found the ability to talk again.

'We want to do this before a natural birth can start. As I explained the placenta is in front of the cervix and that is the way the babies normally go. And if you go into labor and the placenta lies in the way it can happen that it breaks. And if the placenta breaks you will lose a lot of blood. And we don't want that to happen.' She says.

I can't describe the way I am feeling. And I lay my hand on my stomach to remind myself that they are still safe inside of me. It feels like problem after problem is coming with this pregnancy and I feel myself doubting it again. But I guess it is too late to make a second thought about it.

Dimitri is still talking with the doctor and she is telling him everything that we need to know. But I drift off every time I try to listen. I want to keep my children safe.

And even late when we stand outside the building I haven't said a word since she told us about it. We both stare at each other for a moment until his arms go around my body and my arms go around his body. I feel a loud sob go through my body as I bury my head in his chest.

'Shh, Roza. We will figure it all out.' he says and it makes me shake a little more. Normally he would tell me that everything will be fine. But there is a chance that things will not be fine at all.

'I just want to keep them safe.' I say with shaky breath. He doesn't say anything as he places a soft kiss on the top of my head.

'I want all of you safe Roza.' He says and with that I realize for the first time that there is a risk for me too.

'I don't want to go home yet.' I tell him and I feel him nod. The house is full of people who want to know the gender. And I need to process this first before I can be truly happy again.

'Let's go get an ice-cream.' He says and how weird it sounds to do something like that right now. I pull back and give him a quick kiss before we both get into the car.

'Roza.' He says, making me turn towards him. He takes my hands in his larger ones as his eyes are boring into mine. 'Don't forget that the babies are healthy.'

And I nod. We have to remember that and that if things go the way the doctor told us or rather Dimitri that it will be fine. It is something that happens to more people and a lot of babies are born healthy.

 **Forgive me if I made a couple faults with describing the part with the placenta that moved in front of the cervix. I have pulled the information straight from my head because I was to lazy to go search for my textbook.**


	10. Six months

**This chapter is a lot smaller than my other chapters and more a filler chapter. But it has some points in it that needed to be told before I can take this story to the next part. I hope you still enjoy it.**

Six months pregnant, two appointments with Doctor Adams in the last month and one appointment in the hospital. There is no other doubt than that these babies will be born in the hospital and that they will be born with a C-section.

A month is a lot of time to think about everything and figure it all out. And with all those appointments and all of the information that we have received I can look at it a little brighter. Yes, there are still chances that it will go wrong. But the chances that it will go right are also there.

The moment I go into my eight months they will bring them into this world. They will be still very small and there is chance that they have to stay at the hospital for a couple of weeks. That way they can be sure that they will be healthy and can live on their own.

I have to look at the bright sight of this pregnancy and it is the reason why we went through with our announcing party. It wasn't a party where we announced that I was pregnant because we had already told our friends and family about that.

It wasn't about the fact that we were having triplets because there was no hiding the huge belly I had and it screamed more than one baby on board. So we would announce the one thing they didn't know about yet. The genders of the babies.

We thought about how we wanted to announce it and telling them would be the easy way but not the fun way. So we thought about something else. We made three cakes with the cake being the color to announce their gender. Two pink colored cakes and one blue colored cake.

And to include our children in this part we let them cut the cake to reveal it. First letting one of the pink cakes being cut. And after that the blue one so people could get excited for the last one. The last one was the other pink one and after that everyone knew we were having one boy and two girls.

We got congratulations from everyone and it felt like I was drifting on a pink cloud with the attention and happiness I received. Dimitri never being more than a couple feet away from me. And I loved him for doing that. I wanted to have him close during the entire pregnancy.

Lissa already started talking about a baby shower, my biggest horror. I tried to let her think about anything else than that but it wasn't working. Dimitri tried to change Lissa's mind but there was no hope for that. Only that knowing smirk from Christian who knew what Lissa would do.

So in only a short two weeks Lissa would show up at my doorstep again for my baby shower. Inviting everyone I know and having those terrible games that you play at baby showers. It would be a nice thing to have everyone around for one last time before I would spent all my time raising those three.

And another bonus would obviously the gifts that they would bring. Babies were expensive so a little help from my friends wouldn't be a bad thing. But most of the things we needed for them were coming into our house slowly.

Ivan, Anthony and Tamara would be leaving on Monday together with their friends. It was so nice to have them around. Logan would be staying home while he worked in the garage and go to school at night.

Our parents would be leaving next weekend and that was the reason we set them down to talk to them. Wanting to announce the names we had picked for our children. First we told Olena that one of the girls name would be hers. She told us she was honored. Because even when she had so many grandchildren, none of them had her name.

She had hugged us with tears streaming over her cheeks and thanked us. Only seeing her reaction was worth it. It wasn't a name that you heard a lot.

Then we told Abe that our baby boy would be named Ibrahim, Ibe, for short. He was honored as well that we would think about him as we named our child. And I think that after our son is born Abe will be around a little more.

But the thing that shocked him the most was our last decision. The name of our other baby girl. Because we had thought about it a lot and had many discussion about it until I made the final decision for her. Her name would be Janine.

It had been a long time since I had thought of my mother and it brought tears to my eyes thinking about her. She had left me and my father a long time ago and it was hard for the both of us to think about it.

I had been eleven when my mother got sick. She wasn't feeling well for months and after she finally went to the doctor there was nothing they could do to her. She had cancer in her pancreas and the only thing they could do was ease the pain.

It only took three months before my mother died. Three months from the moment they told her what she had until the moment we had to bury her. And I didn't let myself think about it much often because it still hurt the way she was ripped out of our lives.

My mother hadn't been the most perfect mother but I don't think any mother is perfect. She was strict and had many rules. But she loved me and thought me everything she knew. She protected me from the world I grew up in.

And naming my daughter after her was the perfect way to remember her. To honor my mother and try to be a better mother than she had been. It was in that moment that both Abe and I started to cry and we hugged each other.

The following day we started at the nursery. First we had wanted to make two separate rooms. A boy room and a girl room but it didn't felt right to separate them. So we just settles with a color that could be for both girl and boy.

We bought three white cribs that we could place next to each other. A little space between them so we could stand next to the crib but that they could still see each other if they wanted. A changing table in the corner of the room and a rocker. Hoping that this will be enough for them.

And even when there will still two more months before we would welcome these babies in this world it felt nice to have the room ready. I knew that I would find myself many nights in that room only sitting in the rocker and looking around the room.

I was ready to welcome these children into this world and to raise them the best I could. I was excited yet terrified. But with Dimitri by my side I knew that I could do anything I wanted to.


	11. Arrival of the babies?

Seven and a half months pregnant and I am totally ready for them to take those babies out of my belly. I would love to see my feet again and spent a little longer from the toilet than half an hour. But when I rub my hand over my belly and one of them kicks against my hand and I know why I am doing this.

It is one of those nights that I am sitting in the rocker in the nursery. My hands rubbing over my expanded stomach where the babies are kicking wildly. It becomes harder and harder to find a comfortable lying position and falling into sleep.

Only three more weeks until we can welcome these beautiful children into our lives and three more weeks before everything is going to change. We have made this nursery before we got the final news. Or more the information that you need when babies are going to be born with a C-section.

Because I am not allowed to walk up and down the stairs for the first couple of weeks. And with that we need to have a bed downstairs and we need to have the cribs and changing table downstairs. Dimitri said that we could let it this way and that he would go up in the night for the babies but it doesn't feel right.

Of course I want Dimitri to go up in the night but he doesn't have to do it alone. I want to be able to get up and hold my babies when they are crying. Or feed them when they are hungry. So it is why we decided that we will get a bed downstairs for the both of us. And make a little nursery for the children.

And when I am allowed to go up and down the stairs again we will remove everything from downstairs. It means that we probably will be living on one floor for six weeks. But is also means that we have a lot to do in the next three weeks.

I lift myself up when I feel the pressure starting in my abdomen. A hint that I need to pee, again. I waggle towards the bathroom when I suddenly feel a sharp pain going through my whole body. My hands go to my stomach and my eyes widen. What was that?

I feel my pants becoming wet but I know that I didn't pee in my pants. No, no, no. This shouldn't be happening. This shouldn't be starting now. Another contraction goes through my body as a loud scream escapes my body.

 **DPOV  
** A loud scream wakes me up and I am on my feet in seconds. Roza. The first thing that shoots through my head. She isn't in bed next to me. And when I walk into the hallway I see her standing with one hand on her stomach and another one on the wall.

'Roza, what's wrong?' I ask as I make my way to her. She is trembling and it looks like she is in pain. Tears are streaming over her cheeks when she looks at me but she doesn't say anything. I flip the light and it is then that I see the blood between her legs.

She went into labor. She wasn't supposed to go into labor. What do we need to do? What do I need to do? A loud curse makes me turn around and I see Logan standing in the opening of his bedroom.

'Call an ambulance.' I tell him and I turn around to Roza again. My hands hovering over her, not really sure what I need to do.

'Get me downstairs.' She says between breathes and she gives me one look. I nod and help her walking down the hallway and down the stairs. It takes a lot of time and I can't get the worry out of me for my wife and my children.

It is soon after we got downstairs that I hear the ambulance and Logan opens the door for them to guide them in. I keep talking to Roza and making sure that she stays with me. Her skin getting paler and paler and I know that she has lost a lot of blood.

The paramedics doesn't let any time go to waste when they help Roza on the stretcher and roll her into the ambulance. Telling me that I can't go with her and I keep standing there with my hands in my hair as I watch them drive away.

Knowing that her whole life and the life of the babies are in the hands of the paramedics now. The touch of Logan's hand on my shoulder almost makes me jump in surprise. I turn around and I see the tears on his cheeks. I wrap him into my embrace and we hold onto each other for a moment.

'Let's go to the hospital papa.' He says and I nod. We both walk inside to grab some clothes we can wear because we are both only dressed in our boxer briefs. I try to ignore the blood that is on the floor of the hallway, down the stairs and the hallway downstairs.

I grab the bag that we packed for the birth of our children and make my way to the car. Keys in my hand and waiting for Logan. He is just seconds after me and he pulls the door closed behind him. We both get into the car and I know that I drive way too hard. But in this moment it doesn't matter. In this moment it only matters that we get to Roza.

'It will be all okay Logan. I promise.' I say and I don't know who I try to convince. My son and myself. Maybe the both of us. It takes us fifteen minutes to get to the hospital and I am afraid to go inside. Hoping that Roza will be fine after everything. We rush inside and to the emergency room. We got stopped by a nurse.

'Are you family of missis Belikova?' she asks and I nod. Trying to get her out of the way so I can make my way to my wife.

'She went into surgery and it will take a moment before we can update you on her condition. Please follow me.' she says and I sigh. She is in surgery, it means she is still alive. And I let out a deep breath. Grabbing Logan's arm as we follow her.

But she only brings us to a waiting room where we can wait until they finish surgery on Roza. And I hate it that she is alone in this moment. When I hear Logan crying besides me I pull him into a hug and try to comfort him. But seeing his mother like this must be hard for him. Just as hard as it is for me to see Roza like this.

It is that moment that I start to doubt this pregnancy for the first time. I was so happy when she first told me that she was pregnant again. I have always dreamt of a big family and knowing that we were going to add another child to our family was a dream for me.

And in those first moments it was. Then we heard that we were expecting three children and that was a little shock to me. Three more children. I knew that moment that I needed to change everything. I wanted to be there for my Roza and for our children. More than I had been there when our other children grew up.

So I quit my job at the university and started to work more at the local high school. It wasn't what I wanted to do but what I needed to do. And that way we could be more together and we could raise those children together.

After that came the next shock and that was the story about the placenta being in front of the cervix. The doctor secured us that it would be fine and I believed them. Roza didn't and I know that she had nightmares about it. And how much I tried to convince her that it all would be fine, I guess that she had been right after all. Things wouldn't be fine.

And now I find myself sitting in the waiting room of the hospital together with one of my sons. Waiting for the doctors to tell us about the life of my wife, Logan's mother. And the three babies. And maybe we shouldn't have done this. Maybe we shouldn't have gone through with this pregnancy.

I was already forty-five after all and Roza was thirty-eight. We weren't in that age anymore where you need to add more babies to your family. Of course, enough people do that. But it wasn't how I pictured it. Not that I won't love those babies. Because I already do.

After an agonizing two hours there is finally a doctor who steps into the waiting room. And he makes his way to us and pulls a chair closer. He looks tired and has a sad look on his face. He sits down and folds his hands in his lap.

'The surgery on Rosemarie Belikova was successful.' He says and I let out a breath of relief. But the look on the doctor's face tells me this wasn't the entire thing. There is a but coming.


	12. The babies

**In this chapter I use the abbreviation NICU. It stands for Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. I don't know if they use the same name for this ward in your country but it is just the ward for babies who are born to early.**

I am standing at the NICU of the hospital watching my three tiny babies. Happy to see them breathing but still worried because they aren't breathing completely on their own. Dragging my hands through my hair as I watch them.

It was almost too late for them. Roza had lost a lot of blood and they had rushed her into surgery the moment she came into the hospital. Giving her blood while they did an emergency C-section. The babies were still only seven and a half months old and weren't ready to come into this world.

Both of the girls were lying a little higher and only needed a little support. In the next couple of day they expected them to breath on their own completely and they expected that they could go home with two weeks.

But our baby boy had been lying closer to the cervix and probably gotten in a little trouble when the placenta broke. His hemoglobin level was too low for a newborn and he needed a little more help than his sisters. It could be a while until he was ready to leave the hospital.

Roza had lost a lot of blood before and during surgery. Her hemoglobin level was even lower than that of our son. They had been giving her blood and at the moment she was sleeping of her sedative. This whole night had made me ten years older.

I sat down in the chair and closed my eyes for a short moment. I could've lost them all in one night and I didn't know what I had done if that was the case. Logan had stayed with me and just after the doctor came and had told us the news I sent him home. He needed to rest.

In that short moment I had expected too many things that the doctor could have told us. And while this isn't the way I wanted to have my babies in the world I know that things could've been much worse. And I need to look at this on a day basis. Because there will come a time that I can take my three babies and my wife back home.

I spend a little time with all three babies apart. Touching them and looking at them. But it is hard to see them with all the wires attached to their tiny bodies. And soon after a nurse informs me that Roza has woken up. I take another look at my babies and start walking to the ward where my wife is.

When I walk into the room I notice that a lot of machines are gone. She is only attached to an IV and it lifts a lot of weight of my shoulders. I walk towards her and I place a soft kiss on her forehead. Her eyes are closed and it seems like she has fallen back to sleep.

I sit down on the chair next to her bed and take her hand into mine. My lips at the back of her hand as I watch her. She is still very pale and there is blood dripping into her body through the IV. A blanket is lying over her legs. Her stomach is covered in bandages.

'Comrade?' her voice is soft and almost inaudible. But my head snaps up to hers and her eyes are a little open. I stand up and hover over her. Looking at her and smiling.

'Thank god you are awake.' I say and press a quick kiss to her lips. I cup her cheek with my hand and she leans in.

'How are our babies?' she asks me and she looks worried. I wonder how much the doctors have told her.

'They are perfect milaya. Very tiny and there are a lot of wires connected to them. The girls are doing better than our baby boy. But I do believe with everything I am that they will be completely healthy.' I tell her and see tears in her eyes.

'I'm sorry.' She whispers and I look at her with confusion.

'Why are you sorry?' I ask her and caress her cheek.

'I shouldn't have gone into labor.' She says and I shake my head no. This wasn't something she could have done something about.

'It is not your fault milaya. There was nothing you could do about it.' I tell her and press another kiss to her lips. I wipe the tears that escape her eyes from her cheeks.

'I am so tired.' She says and I nod. Kissing her on the tip of her nose.

'Then sleep a little more.' I tell her and she nods.

'Will you be here when I wake up?' she asks me and I nod.

'Always.' I tell her.

* * *

'I want to see the babies.' Roza says as she sits up a little higher. There has passed four days since she came into the hospital and she hasn't had the chance to see our babies.

The doctors are afraid that the stitches on her stomach will reopen when they move her so they keep her at full bedrest. And since the babies are attached to wires and are kept a close look at, they couldn't be taken towards Roza. And I hate it that she hasn't had the chance to look at them.

'Anthony, close the door.' I say to him since he is closest to the door. He does as I say and sits back down. It is visiting hour and we are sitting with the six of us in Roza's room. Normally there are only two people allowed but we just ignored that little detail.

'Are you feeling good enough to be in a wheelchair?' I ask Roza and I see that I have her full attention. Normally I am the one that listens to what the doctor tells me but it kills me that she hasn't seen Janine, Olena and Ibrahim.

'Yes.' She answers and I see her eyes sparkle. She already loves what I have in mind before she actually knows it.

'Alright. Tamara I want you to get a wheelchair. I don't care where you get it from just make sure that we can ride your mother around in it.' I say to her and she grins.

'Ivan and Logan, I want you to distract the nurses so we can escape to the elevators.' I tell them and they share a look before they nod.

'Anthony, you need me to help get your mother to the NICU.' I say to him and he nods at me.

'Roza, you need to promise me that you will stay in that wheelchair. No standing up or anything. And the moment your stomach start aching or anything we are going back.' I tell her and hold her look for a moment before she finally nods.

'Alright, let's go.' I tell them and we all start moving. Tamara is the first one to leave the room. And while she is away I help Roza into a sweatpants and a wide sweater. I am just putting socks on her feet as Tamara returns with a wheelchair and a mischief smile on her face.

I lift Roza into my arms and place her carefully into the wheelchair. Checking on her until I am sure that she is alright and after that I sent Ivan and Logan out of the room. I don't mind how they distract the nurses, only that they succeed in that.

'When you hear the elevator you will start to push the wheelchair, alright?' I ask Anthony and Tamara and they both nod. 'Don't forget that she is still attached to the IV.'

With that little warning I leave the room and make the way to the elevator. Pushing the button to go down and waiting while I look around. Only seconds after I hear the pling of the elevator I hear Ivan's yelling and I smile.

I put my feet in front of the elevator door and place my fingers to my lips to make sure that the woman in the elevators stay quiet. She has an amused look on her face. Tamara and Anthony wheel their mother to the elevator and we all step in.

'You are not going to escape, right?' the woman asks with an unsure look on her face. Roza already shakes her head no.

'We are going to look at our babies.' She says with such a happy smile on her face that it almost breaks. The woman nods but isn't really sure about it. But we already stop one floor below and we all get out. It isn't the same floor with the exit and it looks like a relief to the woman.

'Congratulations.' She says before the elevator doors close again. We don't waste time anymore and I take the wheelchair and roll Roza towards her children. When we enter the NICU we are immediately stopped by a nurse.

'Are you allowed to be here?' she asks Roza. Knowing that she hasn't been here before because of her bedrest. Roza nods and looks up at me.

'They gave their okay just ten minutes ago. We decided that we should go immediately so we could share this moment.' I tell her and she steps aside. She doesn't look convinced and I know that we will have only minutes before they tell us to go back upstairs.

I wheel her to the first bed and crouch down beside her. Knowing that we have only limited time but I want to give her enough time to look and admire her children.

'This is Janine.' I say to her as she reaches out and takes the tiny hand of our daughter between her fingers.

'Little Janie.' Roza whispers and I know that that will be her nickname for the rest of her life. Her full name will be Janine but it feels weird to call our children by the same name as we do with our parents.

'We don't have much time so I will show you our other girl.' I tell her and she nods. Her eyes still on Janie as I wheel her to our second baby girl.

'Please don't tell me that you will name her Ollie.' Sebastian says and I chuckle. We will definitely don't call her that. Roza does the same as she did with Janie. Taking the tiny hand between her fingers.

'We will call her Lena.' Roza says and I nod. It only sounds right.

'There is an angry looking nurse coming this way.' Tamara says and I share a look with Roza. And I immediately wheel her over to our baby son, Ibe.

Tears form in her eyes as she sees our son. He has the most wires attached to his body and is also the tiniest of the three. I grab her hand and press a kiss to the back of her hand.

'He will be fine milaya. Just as our other children.' I tell her and she looks my way. Tears streaming over her cheeks but a small smile on her lips. But we are interrupted by the angry looking nurse.

'You weren't supposed to come out of bed.' she says with her hands on her hips. I rise to my normal height and know that I over tower her. But she doesn't even give me a second look. She is only watching Roza.

'I only wanted to see my children.' Roza says and I see the gaze of the nurse soften.

'Fine but you have to get to your bed again.' she says as she watched us. Roza nods and takes my hand in hers.

'I am ready to go back comrade.' She says. She watches our children for another time before I wheel her out of the NICU. And back to her room. There we find Ivan and Logan who are kept there by another nurse. And when Roza is back in her bed they give us a short moment to say goodbye to Roza before they throw us out for the night.


	13. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

 **4 months later  
** **RPOV  
** To say that it was a rough year would be too simple. But when I look back on to it all and look at my children, all my children, I don't regret it. Yes, I could've done things better, handled things better and thought twice about things before doing them. But it is just not the person I am.

That late night visit to my newborn children ripped open a couple stitches and it made my recovering a little longer than it should have been. But seeing my babies for the first time was worth all the pain I had to endure after that.

Our two girls, Lena and Janie, could go home after one month in the hospital. They were healthy enough to go further with our support. I had been home for one week and it was a good feeling to have them home with me.

But our baby boy, Ibe, he had to stay for another month. And eventually he spent his first nine weeks in the hospital. First on the NICU and after that he was transported to the children ward. That was a relief because it meant that he was doing better.

With nine weeks we had our three children at home and our night cut short to quick naps. Both needed sleep and we hadn't had conversation that were more than two words. But we loved our children and we loved each other so we just sucked it up and did what we needed to do.

It was a lucky thing for us that our sleep nights became longer or we would have fallen asleep standing. But I think that the most wonderful thing was that our children showed up to help us with their brother and sisters.

Logan already lived at home and even when he said he wasn't going to help us, his little sisters had wrapped him around their tiny fingers and he did everything for them. So he spend many late afternoons watching the babies and trying to play with them. As far as that can with newborns.

Tamara is spending all her free time back at home and she is even thinking about going to a college that is closer to home. We are trying to talk her out of that. Not that we don't want her close. But she doesn't need to feel that she have to do that. We can manage it on our own.

But she is happy to spend time with her brother and sisters. She has the patient that is necessary to take care of Ibe. He needs a little more care and has a little more doctors' visits than his sisters need so she is wonderful with that.

Anthony mostly likes to dress them up. And he can spend hours with Lena. Not because he doesn't like the other two. But Lena doesn't cry or struggle at changing clothes. She is perfectly content when he puts her in some nice clothes and holds fashion shows with her.

It is a small disadvantage that we all need to watch his fashion shows with Lena. The first two, three times were fun and we would encourage him and give him points and everything. But now he has done that so many times that we are fleeing when we notice him changing her.

Ivan is wonderful with the babies. He can just hold them and tell them stories and they will be quiet. No crying or any other sounds. Just their big eyes focused on their oldest brother. I think that we are very lucky with our seven children.

But the most amazing person with the children is Dimitri. He may have been a little nervous and unsure about the whole thing. But I always knew that he was an amazing father. He doesn't realize how much his children love him and want his attention. And seeing him with our children make my heart swell even more.

He is so patiently and kind when he is acting with them. He is my rock in this whole mess and seeing his smile every day gives me the energy I need. And he gives our babies the attention they need. He makes sure that our other children still feel like home and he takes the time to make me feel special and beautiful.

I don't know what the coming years are going to be like. But I know that with the support of my wonderful husband. And with watching our beautiful children grow up it will all be worth it. When I look back and see everything that happened from the moment that I left Turkey to the moment I have seven children…

There are no other words than live is magical if you decide to life it and give it all you have. And that some things are worth fighting for. I know that things with Dimitri and myself could have gone better but it was destiny that brought us together and made sure that we stayed together.

And now with being married to the love of my life for 21 years I can only hope that life will give us another 21 years together.

 **Thank you for all my followers, readers and reviewers. I know that this is a little short and after that wait it is a little short but their story was told and I guess that it is better to end it this way than drag this on for ages.**


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